OH CANADA !!!! EH !!!

IT'S CANADA DAY!

Which is as good a reason to celebrate a Wednesday as any I have found.

Actually, eh, I have great respect for Canada. For one, it is a large region that separates me from Sarah Palin. For two, it gives Chicago people another place to fish with out coming to Wisconsin.

For three, my great sister-law, Linda, is a Canadian. In just ten short years she has convinced my brother that he, too, is a Canadian. Which is a great improvement from his previous belief that he was really a Minnesotan.

For four, I know some really terrific folks who are Canadians. Most of them live in the States.

For five, .... C,mon ... there is no five in Canadian-ese. Five would require that they take their boots off to count.

OK.

A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?""Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave."Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade."

It was mealtime during a flight on Air Canada."Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front."What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.



Well, ya dere, eh!

Canada apologises to the US
A truly Canadian Apology to the USA, courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, CBC Television:

Hello. I'm Anthony St. George on location here in Washington.
On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not like you actually elected him.
I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you, doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you had ten times the television audeince we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you'd never do that.
I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As word of apology, please accept all of our NHL teams which, one by one, are going out of business and moving to your fine country.
I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.
I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the War of 1812. I see you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.
I'm sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Loverboy, that song from Seriff that ends with a really high-pitched long note. Your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. Because we've seen what you do to countries you get upset with


OKee Doke!


Up in heaven God was talking to an angel about this beautiful country he was creating. He described this place to the angel."It will have lakes, tall mountains, as well as big trees covering the land. The air will be crisp and fresh , the water will always be clean, and the people will be the most friendly you will ever meet."
"I will call it Canada and the people living inside; Canadians.""But God." the angel questioned, "don't you think you are being too nice to these Canadians?""Nope!" replied God, "Just wait 'till you see their neighbors!"


All right. Let's all go out and celebrate Canada Day. They are our neighbors, they drink beer, they like doughnuts........ and they sure know how to do creative things with there flag....

Love da North, eh!!

The difference between a New Yorker seeing his CAR being vandalized & a Canadian seeing HIS car being vandalized is:
The New Yorker will yell "EH!!!! Wot you think yur DOING??"
The Canadian will yell "Wot you think yur doing EH!!???"

I've Decided....

.... that if I am going to have a second childhood.....

It will be like this!

Ok. The buzz in town is the opening of the new Johnny Depp movie, "Public Enemies" that had several scenes shot in my neighborhood of Beautiful Downtown Wisconsington.

I mean, literally in my back yard. The wardrobe trailers, directors RV, all that stuff, was parked right behind Oblios. The old bank on the corner was used for one of the 'robbery' scenes and the coffee house across the street was done up as a dinner. The Scene crew and set decorators were in town several weeks before the shooting began and they soon found out that Oblios was a cool place to hang out and I got to meet several of them. It all made for interesting conversation.


Most of the actors, including Depp, were housed at a boutique hotel twenty miles from town but that didn't stop a army of onlookers from besieging the neighborhood. Some days it was difficult to walk home without two or three rent-a-cops stopping you.

Anyways! On one of the last nights that they were shooting in town the director and a bunch of the actors stroll into Oblios. The word had gotten around that there was good top-shelf booze available and not at California or New York prices.


Schultzie was drinking with some of the actors who play Dillinger gang members, Spencer Garrett and Stephen Dorf. He introduces me and we down a few shots of really really good tequilla. We chat and I score a couple of autographs for Max. Michael Mannn, the director strolls in with Marion Cotillard, who had just won an best actress Oscar. I said, "Hello". Later I shot a game of pool with another gang member, Michael Vieau. He's originally from Chicago and had to tell me that the Packers Suck, several times.

Well the night went on and there came a time they all needed to leave; I guess there was an early scene shot the next day, but that is when I had the most fun of the night.

The bar was full of gawkers and tourista types.... It's the kind of bar where strangers stick out like a stalk of celery in a Bloody Mary. Just as I was getting ready to leave one of them comes up to me and asks for my autograph.....seriously. Must of seen me talking to some of the actors and playing pool with Michael and just ASSUMED I was connected to the movie. Well, I had a moment when I was going to explain that I wasn't, but then thought better of it and quickly scrawled some in decipherable bull shit on her bar napkin. Then she asks me, "What role do you play in the movie?" Again, a moment of truth swept across me as quickly as a mosquito in August. I dismissed it and said, "Just a guy in the neighborhood." Her face lit up and she said "Cool!"

A special showing of the movie starts here this weekend. I have to go and see if I am in it.

Every once in awhile I get a song stuck in my head..... usually one that is poetic even without the music....

Boulder to Birmingham

I don't want to hear a love song

I got on this airplane just to fly

And I know there's life below

But all that it can show me

Is the prairie and the sky

And I don't want to hear a sad story

Full of heartbreak and desire

The last time I felt like this

It was in the wilderness and the canyon was on fire

And I stood on the mountain in the night and

I watched it burn

I watched it burn,

I watched it burn.

I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham

I would hold my life in his saving grace.

I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham

If I thought I could see,

I could see your face.

Well you really got me this time

And the hardest part is knowing I'll survive.

I have come to listen for the sound

Of the trucks as they move down

Out on ninety five

And pretend that it's the ocean coming down to wash me clean, to wash me clean

Baby do you know what I mean

I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham

I would hold my life in his saving grace.

I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham

If I thought I could see, I could see your face.

FOX NEWS SPECIAL REPORT

Same sex doughnuts linked to decline of USA morals

Global Warming blamed on doughnuts

Doughnuts thought to be cause of Global Recession

Obama vows to crack down on doughnuts.

Killer Klowns

FOX News' designated flamethrower, Bill O'Reilly, slammed Rosie on "The O'Reilly Factor" last night, calling her "nutty" and "irresponsible," and suggesting that ABC should fire O'Donnell for her provocative remarks about Iran and the war in Iraq..

..... boy that is some killer comedy, Bill!!

Frankly, speaking of Rosie, I would have added 'shrill' to nutty and irresponsible..... but O'Reilly doesn't seem to get it that he is nutty, irresponsible and asinine.

http://www.oreilly-sucks.com/

I just don't understand things these days. I am really sure that I don't want to, either.

Talking heads... hemorrhoids that speak.

And then in real news... Neda Agha Sultan.

Just google the name. I have nothing to say.

The more things change..... the more they stay the same.

Some days I just want to move to Montana

Time

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day

Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town

Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Yuppers, I gotz no time. I was out of the office for three days and I just feel like I have a lot of catching up to do. Next week I only have three days IN the office, with the July fourth holiday coming up.

Time has come today

Young hearts can go their way

Can't put it off another day

I don't care what others say

They say we don't listen anyway

Time has come today

I spent most of the weekend biking and working on my 'flip-flop' tan.

I almost feel that I might have something important to say........... I hope that feeling goes away soon.

Time flys when one is having fun.