Wednesday, August 11, 2010

So I am at Oblio's. Schultz is peddling posh potables across the polished panel.
-Jim... did you hear about that Norwegian farmer west of town, got audited by the IRS?
- I think I'm going to.
-Well, the guy gets an audit notice and the agent shows up at his farm. The agent says, " I have a few questions about your labor deductions."
"Well, " the farmer says," I gotz a full time hand.... pay him$180 a week, room and board included. He's a good hand."
"Ok," says the agent.
" Then," the farmer says, " I gotz a part time hand, works about 20 hours a week, pay him $90, lives elsewhere, but I throw in his meals."
"Alright," the agent says, "anyone else?"
" Yup," the farmer replies. " I have a cook, comes and goes, feeds the boys.  I pay her $200 a month."
The farmer scrunches up a bit, looks down at the dirt and sticks his thumbs in his bib overalls. "Then I have the Half-Wit. "
" The Half-Wit?" the agent queries.
" Yup," the farmer replies.  He straightens up a bit .  "The guy works over a hundred and eighty hours a week,no time off, he gets $40 a month, has to pay for his own room and board and all his expenses...... but he gets to sleep with my wife about once a month."
"Wow," says the agent. " I need to talk with this Half-Wit!"
The farmer spits a chaw of tobacco off into the dust and looks the agent right in the eye.
" You are, son!"

Schultz owes me a beer.

When I'm 64....

Headed up to cottage in Keshna with the boys this weekend.  They all hold me in the highest esteem.

Vikings suck
Bears suck
Lions suck
Nascar sucks

Some times you build walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

What are friends for.

Re Breakfast, like always there's never a shortage of food, so a coffeecake/kringle/?? is fine for me; it travels/keeps well.  Whatever.Jim does good brekkers with volunteering, Jim?
Re Sat. lunch, seems like we can tie in a lunch out with whatever else we might do. Or, if we dona have plans, just a trip 'out' to see the sights.
Re Snacks, FWIW, I already have some cashews, bag a spicy chips, bag a M & Ms.
Re Beverages, Rum & Coke is mighty fine!  Meyer's is my vote; whatever.  Don't forget the limes, please!
Our garden is starting to produce a little, so a few(all we have) cherry tomatoes, banana peppers(grill em?), zucchini(same) will be brought. (3.2" of rain last night and steamy weather could increase yield).
 I'm bring eggplant and tofu.  They love me for it!

Monday, August 9, 2010

What Repubs "really" don't like about Obama

"Obama's ears are so big.... why, he can hear Russia from his back yard"
-Sarah Palid

"Obama's ears are so big... they need their own Cabinet Post"
-Bill O'Really

"Obama's ears are so big... they can bail out three banks by them selves!"
-Glenn Blech

"Obama's ears are so big.... his kids can hide Easter baskets in them!"
-Michelle Bitchman

.... of course... no one will really state the truth of why they hate him..... Shhhhhh, don't tell anyone..... but the President is ... get this... a Black Man!!!!

..... I think the next time we elect a Minority President.... you know.... like one with big ears.....  we should elect one with a Big Johnson
if you can't quit being a racist..... at least zip up your pants

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