Friday, September 19, 2008

If the Shoe Fits, Ride it!

I don't know how this happened. Or maybe I do and I am just in denial.

I am going horseback riding.

"Oh, C'mon... it'll be fun!"
" No. It won't. I have done it before. It isn't fun."
"Spoil sport!"
"Besides, the Packer game is Sunday."
"They don't play till 7 o'clock. We'll be home by then!"
"I'll be dead by then!"
"C'mon..... everyone is going!"
Oh, shit&stuff..... the dreaded Everyone.
So I am going horseback riding on some goddam trail on Sunday. This is not my idea. Horses are big and dangerous.... and smell like..........uh, horses. I have tried this in the past and can easily say that I have never been on a horse that wanted ME to be on IT. Gimmee a break..... Why would I want to get on a horse when I have a perfectly good bicycle? My bicycle has never kicked me, stepped on me, bit me or drooled on me. And my bike has never shit in the street, either!
My bike has perfectly good brakes, which is much more than I can say for any horse
I have ever been on.
Now getting ON a horse is no big deal, it is the getting off part that really bothers me. I looked it up!

It’s inevitable—if you ride, you will fall off. Even the quietest, most well schooled horse can spook, bolt or buck. This can result in your making an ‘unscheduled dismount’. There is no way to completely avoid falls when you are riding. And there is no way to guarantee you will fall without injury. But the following tips may help you lessen the impact of a fall while horseback riding. There is no sure way to avoid a fall or injury while horseback riding. Even knowing how to fall 'properly' is no guarantee you will not be injured if you do fall.

And damn straight I WILL fall off the goddam horse! I have never been on a horse that I have NOT fallen off!

No, that is incorrect. I did own a horse that was pretty safe.

But come to think of it, I probably fell off of that one, too!

Gees, I am getting anxiety attacks already. And what's the deal with horseback riding, anyways! I mean, this is Wisconsin..... there are just bunches of stuff we could do on a beautiful fall day other than horse riding,

like drinking beer

It is a relatively safe thing to do.......

Or go boating. I have yet to have a boat kick me.

I just fail to see how riding 'future' dog food on a sunday morning is any fun at all. But there is absolutely no sense in beating a dead horse.......

..... So I may as well just say Horse Feathers and forget about it.

This middle-aged dating stuff is not for the timid. Next time, though, I am just gonna suggest we go for lunch and visit a museum... they have horses there, too!


Thursday, September 18, 2008

Am I Loaded??

OK. There is this Tag Thingee going around...what songs are loaded on your Ipod?

Gees, not long ago I thought Ipods were those flat green things you find in Chinese stir-fry.

All-rightee ... these are some tracks I have been listening to lately. A little eclectic, a little obscure.... but here it goes .....................

Old 97's - Big Brown Eyes
Keb Mo - You Can Love Yourself
Ry Cooder- I Think It's Going to Work Out Fine
Wood Brothers - Tried & Tempted
Wood Brothers - Luckiest Man
Beth Orton - Rectify
10000 Maniacs (unplugged) - I'm Not The Man
Tom Waits - Old 55
Joe Jackson - Happy Ending
Joe Jackson - Number Two
Paul Cebar and the Milwaukeeans - Watching You Love
NRBQ - C'mon Everybody
NRBQ - Designated Driver
Fleetwood Mac - Did You Ever Love Me
Fleetwood Mac - Future Games
Herbie Hancock and Christine Aguilera - Song For You
Herbie Hancock & Johnny Lang & Joss Stone- When Love Came to Town
Phil Ochs - Pleasures of the Harbor
Roland Kirk - I Talk With Spirits
Lee Ritenour - Early AM Attitude
Miles Davis - Pharaoh's Dance
Eric Clapton & JJ Cale - Danger
John Hiatt - Cry Love
Jay Hawks - Take Me With You When You Go
Grateful Dead - Ripple
Well, that is what I would load if I could load what I would......

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I am voting Republican!

Ya, right! As soon as the Really Really Big Frost sets in!

OK. I have been attending to a grocery list of personal stuff. Ain't no deal, n'all, but it sure has kept me away from the keyboard.
Anyways. The esteemed Spartacus has tagged me with a thoughtful opinion/info thingee and as he is a great guy whose requests must be taken seriously, I am complying. I think.

1) What is your name (nickname, whatever you're comfortable sharing), your age (range), gender, occupation, income bracket (range), how you identify (gay/straight/whatever)? Married/Single/Divorced? Kids (how many)?
---Wowsers... it really is Jimm, but most folks call me, 'Grill-Dog'. (don't ask!) I was in my mid -50's, though I am younger than that now. I am vastly underpaid at a Sales/Marketing Analysis firm. I am a divorced straight dude with two college age kids, Max(Bubba) and Miriam.
2) What are the most important issues to you in this presidential election and why?
--- The War. The War. Political lies. And when Sarah Palin is gonna finish that bridge from Alaska to Hawaii.
3) Why do you think voters should vote for Obama/Biden, what differentiates this ticket from McCain/Palin?
--- I truly think that Obama/Biden lie less. Seriously. And are, in my opinion, most likely to make sound opinions. But that is just my opinion. The McCain/Palin ticket reminds me of an aged man who marries a young Hooker/Cheerleader who cannot wait for him to die. But that is just my opinion.
4) If McCain/Palin wins this election, where do you see our country going in the next four years?
--- Canada. If they win we will have to sell off at least 5 states just to balance the budget. I heard they will settle for Maine, Michigan, Montana, Washington and Idaho.
5) Economically, where do you think this country is today and how do you think Obama/Biden can make a positive impact?
--- we are in deep shit. Extremely deep shit. Ya, I think Barack&Joe will help. Mostly because someone would have to be pretty fucking pathetic to do worse. And that is who they are running against...... John Pathetic and Sarah Worse.
6) In the past 8-years, how do you think this country has changed under the Bush regime? Have you been affected by these changes? If so, in what ways?
---- Well, we have a great increase in deaths within the National Guard..... and a big jump in the number of maimed and wounded in VA hospitals. A good investment would be in prosthesis manufacturing, right now. I am not affected, yet. I decided not to invest my son in Empire Building.
7) I have read that Palin is considered the new voice of feminism, which is offensive in my opinion. Of equal concern are her views on abortion and the removal of books from libraries. I'd like to know what you think about all of that and how you feel about McCain choosing Palin as a running mate. And what kind of message you think that sends to women?
---Ya, well if Palin is a feminist...... I'm the Duke of Earl!! She summed herself up at the RNC.... a pit bull with lipstick..... and that is the only reason she is on the ticket. Pure diversion.

Whew.... I really need a beer. Or thinking of ol' Spartz, maybe some good Nooh Yawk Puerto Rican carryout.
I can't think of Puerto Rico without thinking of Gilda Radner as Emily Litella.....

"What's all this talk of making Puerto Rico a thing you know, they'll want a baked potato with sour cream!".

Love ya, Buddy! I just couldn't make a post with out a joke! So tag..... your it..... I need a joke about German Americans who live in Wisconsin!
Never Mind!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Say Uncle

Uncle Curly is quit the Dude. A very likable Dude. His hair is thick and a strong chalk white, the mustache impeccably groomed. He frames a strong voice and an easy laugh with an impish grin and steel grey twinkling eyes. He wears his clothes with a neat, sharp grace and the welcoming handshake is firm and friendly. He is as classic as a two-tone-57 Chevy and his mind is close to radar gun accurate. He married my mother's older sister 72 years ago. My aunt Cecilia is 94 and Uncle Curly, Ralph, is 97. We kid him that he doesn't look a day over 80. Breaks him up and makes him grin.

This past summer they finally gave up their apartment and moved into a quasi nursing home/assisted living facility.

Saturday my sister bundled up my mother, wheel chair and brought her over for a visit with Ceil and Ralph before the nasty weather approaches and winter sets in.

Now my Aunt Ceil has been deathly ill, near death, on her death bed, on her last legs, almost dead, gasping her last breath, hanging-on-for-dear-life, soon to expire for almost forty years. It's true. Just ask her. Or don't ask her, she will bring it up irregardless of what is being discussed. The woman has had more ailments, allergies, diseases, maladies, anatomical irregularities than anyone .... ever. She has survived, in turns, intestinal abnormalities, Malaria, in-grown toenails, arthritis, Beri-Beri, Black Plague, Blue Plague, influenza, food poisoning, Leprosy (just a long-lasting rash) Halitosis, Dandruff and painful rectal itch. She is slightly homophobic or she would have some how survived AIDS too. My sister and I joke that she is the only woman in the world to have had three hysterectomies.

She will also tell you, whether you ask or not, that she has been the recipient of many miracle cures!!!! Miracles!!! A very strong proof, in her estimation, of the Power-of-Prayer. " How else can you account for me still being here at 94!!" Now, despite her membership in the Saint-of-the-Month Club, we consider the question rhetorical, at best.

Well the times caught up with Aunt Cecilia. The miracles ran out. She has cancer. It is treatable, but she is 94. It is kind of ironic, though, now that she does have a serious condition,
that she will only allow that the cancer causes her to 'feel out of sorts, occasionaly.'

Visits with my Aunt and Uncle and Mother are at best just listening sessions for my sister and I. She listens to the Girls and I listen to Uncle Curly. It gives them all ample opportunity to talk with out interrupting each other.

My Uncle and Aunt had only a daughter and when her marriage failed they, in essence, raised their five grandchildren, who in their turn, have been extremely devoted to their grandparents. I lost track of how many great grandchildren their are and I am sure that there are a few great-greats out there. I don't know how many. Beats me, but ol Ralph remembers all! Names, ages, birthdays, color of wedding dresses, occupations, level of schooling, athletic contest scores, dance recitals, and musical performances. He will unabashedly give up dates, too, even if I don't have a clue who he is talking about. He also remembers with great clarity historical events. He can tell you exactlly where he was at 9-11, the Kennedy assasination, VE-Day, Pearl Harbor and the Stock Market Crash of 1929.

" I was having dinner at the Angel Cafe....It was downtown next to where the Continental Clothing Store was, boy they sure sold swell clothes at the Continental, but they went out of business in 1967 and then they put in that Osco's Drug Store, where the Continental was, not the cafe, see, but of course the Osco's gone now, too, but boy that cafe sure had good food! Gosh, why you could get a pork chop dinner with mashed potatoes and gravy and dressing with a vegatable and fruit for a dollar thirty-nine and that came with coffee, all you wanted, but of course they folded in the Depression, not the Continental, that was in 1967, the cafe was out of business right before the war, and they just had the best home-made pies, see, and ... of ....course you know... I still miss that Oscos!"

Two hours of visiting is all the folks can handle before a nap is in the offing. We are getting ready to go and saying good-byes when I mention to Ralph that it is nice they have adjoining rooms. "Ya, " said Ralph, " the staff said they would take out the connecting door and make it like a suite for us, see, but I told them that it was all right. This way I can shut the door and not bother Ceil when I stay up and watch Monday Night Football, see!" He laughs. Ceil assures my mother that she is alright, feels fine and will have a clean bill of health in ten years.

I look at Uncle Curly and he just shrugs and grins. I grin back.

My Aunt had all her prayers answered 72 years ago when she married this curly haired guy with the trim mustache and clean laugh and twinkling steel grey eyes.

Miracles happen.

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