Stuff&Such &Facts, 2

Oh, gosh, don't have much today....it is the nothingness thing again.. Just random thoughts... oh! I have one of those neat battery jobees on the wall...a "Random Detector'.  It beeps if there is too much random gas in the room...and then I run away to somewhere else less random.

So anyways, I was reading Sherry's blog  http://afeatheradrift.wordpress.com/  which is a nice place, and she had written this thing about Reid being a jerk and the bun bill, ah, gun bill  ....well, just go read it...anyways this troll is chiming in and stuff and he says a particular Democratic Politician
 was the "most responsible party of losing S. Vietnam to the Communists."  Now that made me chuckle.  As if it was ours to lose. break me up. It was funny. I love the way wing-nuts think.

Little known fact about jimm.  I always put my left shoe on first. Yup. Left sock, left shoe...then repeat for the right side. When I first noticed this I thought it was because I was a Liberal, but then I realized it was because, well, gee,  what if the Random Gas detector went off,beep-beep-beep,  real sudden like, and it was a snowstorm outside and I had to flee my domicile quickly, why gosh, I would have at least one sock and shoe on when I bounce around out in the blizzard! And I do hop better on my left foot.  Congenital flaw, I'm thinking.

Anyways.  Then I was over at Squatlo's Blog http://squatlo-rant.blogspot.com/ and he had posted a nice crips bit about the hypokazy, hipocrok, shameless hucksterism of Pat Robertson who says 'gimmee jimmee' no matter how broke you happen to be, cause well, shit&bisquits, "I'm Pat Robertson and I have a limo driver to pay, expensive ties and clothes, to buy, and the Lord's Work ain't cheap.  Ha! and then good old Squats found another clip of Pat counseling his flock to be wary of "Religious Shams. Of Con Artists with bibles.  Hey, you can't make this stuff up!

You know, I gotta tell you, I tried a rutabaga last week.  Just marched right on into the grocery store and picked one of those ugly suckers up! Peeling a rutabaga isn't anywhere as hard as I thought.  I mean, at first glimpse, peeling a rutabaga looks like it could be tough. Naw, it was a snap. I like my rutabaga with a little salt and butter.  Goooood rutabaga.  I do believe I will buy another rutabaga. I think I have developed l lking for the word rutabaga. Say, did you know that rutabagas are from Rutabagastan. Capital is Rutabaghdad. The country next door is Turnipistan. That's where turnips  come from.    Amazing, ha!  Can't make this stuff up.

Well I was in between basketball games and I wandered over to Randal Graves blog http://lennui-melodieux.blogspot.com/ and he had asked the rhetorical question, " if a tree falls and there is no one around to ignore it, does it still talk with itself?"  Now the mystery of life itself could hinge on this answer so I highly recommend y'all head over there and leave old Randal with some answers.

Going to make some Jello tonight.  Lemon Jello.  Jello originated in Jellopia, by the way. Little country outside of Sweden. You can't make this stuff up!
Anyways. The way I make it is,see, I don't add that cold water part of the recipe.  Nope.  Just mix in a can of crushed pineapple and a little lemonade.  You know lemonade originally came from Lemonolia.  Some desert country.  Not sure.  Better go look it up.  Just the facts, see.  And I am still not sure why Random Gas is dangerous and must be detected!

Iraqi War Heroes....ten years on.

"My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators." –Vice President Dick Cheney, "Meet the Press," March 16, 2003

Dick Cheney made millions off of the war

"We know there are known knowns: there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns: that is to say we know there are things we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don't know we don't know." —Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Defense Department briefing, Fe. 12, 2002

Rumsfeld now teaches poetry with a on-line Universtiy

I pray for strength. I pray for wisdom. I pray for our troops in harm's way. I pray for my family.  I pray for my little girls. I think I would make a good Pope. I prayed alot and now Iraq is free.  Say, are the Cardinals still in town?  I always liked a Astros-Cardinals game.

A little carry out Chinese

Golly....winter has been offensive this year.  March is starting to act like the asshole guest at the dinner party who does not know how to leave!! Disgustifacating, if you ask me!But no one really asks me,, which is a good thing, if you ask me....
It was a good St. Patrick's Day....which was really Sunday, but here in beautiful downtown Wisco the local populace decided a Saturday would work so much nicer for a party, giving all involved a whole extra day to sober up before needing to be at work.  At six-thirty our town had it's first St. Partick's day parade. Extreme efforts were made to make the parade a success including making the parade only two blocks long. Now that was a stroke of genius.  It started down by the sundial across from the New Moon and ended a the empty car lot down by the Roxy where beer tents had been erected.  I always thought it bespoke well of the citizens of Wisconsin that they were not only hardier to drink cold beer outdoors in a tent when the temp is only 28 degrees, but just stupid enough to relish the opportunity.  I sat in at Oblio's with Basketball Joe and Baseball Ed.  Schultzy had some corned beef and cabbage flown in from the north side.  Nothing but the finest, course, it is hard to screw up a dish that is mostly boiled food.  The place filled early.  By 5:30 the place was fpacked with semi-inebriated young men and women; one of the latter very intent on declaring that I was Geraldo Rivera, so much so that she asked if I would autograph her boob.   I did explain that I really wasn't Geraldo, and she replied that she really didn't care

(facsimile)

 "Erin go bragh. Nice tits. Geraldo." is what I wrote with the sharpie pen, though now that I think of it, that was an  error, using the plural, as she only pulled out one and, to be honest, only 75% of that one.  I should not complain.  I have not seen a 25 year old boob in some time, let along sign one.  Ed thought it fun and it did add a little frivolity to the happening.

It still is the same old winter, though, and I grieve for the absence of all the other young flowering boobs, ah, buds of springtime.

 I  haven't seen a recent photo of Rivera.   I think I should find out if I can look more like him especially if the offers are that good.  Many years ago someone strongly remarked to me that I looked strongly like the Country & Western singer, Eddie Rabbit.  Now I really don't know what he looks like, and will never look him up to find out, but gees  Eddie Rabbit.  Maybe looking like Geraldo isn't so bad.
Ah, it is snowing again.  Three inches expected.  I am so gleeful with the news that I darn near died.

well this hasn't been much.  It still might be more than my last post, which was about nothing.  I leave you with a passion pasta poem....and ode to spaghetti

her hair was like well boiled spaghetti
her eyes deep and rich red like a sauce
immediately!  I was in love already
I just wondered how much she cost

her meatballs were large and well breaded
a little Parmesan stuck on her lip
"Fifty bucks, " she said, "if youse intended"
and smacked herself wetly on a hip

now, sometimes my breadstick thinks for me 
and sometimes I make it behave
but I envisioned her passion like a hot garlic sea,
amongst her Amber Grain I would wave

ok...that is not worth finishing and I really have an urge for Chinese anyway.

I think of important things!!!! When I am not busy.

 So the guy keeps telling me, "Write!" Of course, you see, about what becomes the question when there is truly nothing happening, being that starkly dull time of year when winter will not loosen it's grip and Spring is illusionary.
" I have nothing/"
"Oh, oh, you have plenty of that!  Write about it!"
But somehow I thought that if I really did have plenty of nothing, that really didn't leave much to write about.  It is hard to make something out of nothing.  Fox News does it all the time....but mostly they make nothing out of nothing which is entirely a different matter altogether.  I could write a TV show about basically nothing, but Seinfeld has laid claim to that.  How about a play?  " Much Ado About Nothing.?  Now that sounds like a really slick title and I will do IT!  Maybe have it take place somewhere in Italyl
In the meantime........I decided to write a great America Novel......only...cheat.  See I figure if I just steal the last sentience from each chapeter of a great book.....why gosh, I would be on my way to ACTUALLY writing something....lemmee try it, see how it works....

Little Jackie made it stick, all right.
He was right about that.
They inspired confidence.
The parcel, unopened, traveled around with him from unfurnished room to furnished room to the apartment where he lived for awhile with his beautiful wife Lois until the time came when he just walked out the door and didn't ocme back; to other furnished rooms and hotel rooms, to a big squarish parcel with the brown paper turning to yellow and the cords sagging and the name Jack Burden slowly fading.
And we love truth.
For, looking at me, she slowly nodded.
If we believe the dreams we dream when we go there.
And the winter had been long.
It had beenthe funeral of Adam Stanton,down at Burden's Landing.
But that will be a long time from now, and soon now we shall go out of the house and go into the convulsion of  the world, out of history into history and the awful responsibility of Time.

...well, so much for that idea.  At least it made me think, even just a little.  It did remind me of a Blog I used to read a few years back.  The guy's real name was Al Weisel and he wrote under the name, Jon Swift.  Al died unexpectedly about three years ago...it was just a wonderful little thing, well crafted, satirical and witty...and everything he wrote seemed so full of, well, something.  I wish I could write like he did.

Jon Swift

I am a reasonable conservative who likes to write about politics and culture. Since the media is biased I get all my news from Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and Jay Leno monologues.

...Anyways...I still hae nothing.  Just so much air, is all.  Not that having air is such a bad thing...I recently had a small experience of what it is like to NOT have air and I would not recommend that to anyone.  Air is good....you can have thin air, and disappear into it, air can be thick with suspense and so thick you can cut it with a knife.  Clean air.  Foul air.  Good for a walk and catch the night air.  You can be lighter than air, fly through the air with the greatest of ease, fall right out of the air, but of course, you had to have been up in the air first or at least been walking on air.  Yupperz, air is a good thing, much better than nothing, yet it is still hard to put air down on paper.  Kind of like the wind, which is a good enought thing cause you really need to have some air if you want to have a little wind.
And wind is good.  It is rahter like air, only it blows.  Which is good, right?  I mean, how good would wind chimes be without wind? Sure would be a slow boat to China, too, without some wind.  And how can you 'go fly a kite' without a little wind?  Wind is almost as good as nothing, except wind really does do something...and it really cares a better description of what is going on.  When you say ;break wind' you know exactly what just happened...in which case it would be best to be up-wind, cause you would not want to get wind of it.

Reminds me of a joke by Danny Kaye in  The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, 

And the oboe it is clearly understood
Is an ill wind that no one blows good.

 Which makes you think.....Does and Ill wind take two aspirins and good to bed ?Yes, wind is good.  Except on Neptune.  Saw some show on some cable channel and this guy was talking about the winds on Neptune blow constantly  at 900mph which sure wouldn't be good for beach property I'm guessing, though 900 ph is getting close to Rachel Maddow.  OK, I like her, but gees, she sure does talk fast, rather like she forgot to pee before getting on the set and she really has to hurry.
which reminds me....just hold it...I'll be right back.

There, I feel much better.


It is just that time of year, I guess. Not much going on unless you really like Pope Elections or a college basketball tournament that now has some 86 or so teams.  Sheesh.


Well....I still got nothing, jjust dead wind and stale air.
Kinda like McCongress.
Can I get some fries with that legislation?

Wonder if there is any TV shows on tonight of great social significance or political importance?

well Zed

I got a message delivered yesterday via the moztly unreliable Billa Lang. Now, messages from Billa should always be taken seriously. They could be a matter of life and death or matters of cookies and milk, or he has discovered the Wisconsin field of Sacred Ginseng..  never know....or .they could be from the mafia....they could be from the Vatican...you never now.  This was serious.

Some irate elementary school teacher in the wild wild north of Wisco has threatened me with a whack of the ruler or even more heinous punishment if I do not cease using the letter 'Zed' interchangeably with the letter "Sss".
Now I just thought I was being fair with the alphabet and seeing as 'Zee', or 'Zed' to our Canadian cousins. is so under used that I would just give it some more fair play.  Nope.  Not supposed to do it.  Best not mess with Elementary teachers.  They can get nasty.AND....I am not to call it 'Zed' unless I am in Canada.  Boy&Howdy....some folks just don't want me to have fun....Nutz!

But it did get me thinnking a little....and in stead of just lying down and waiting for the thoughts to go away......well, just I thought of the last trip I took to the grocery store and how wonderful the labels on some food products were.  I especially liked "made with all natural by products."  Now that made me think I should not buy any items so labeled.  I mean...whoa....what is in that stuff!  Why don't they just label it with some truth like " This shit is made of so many disgusting things that if we named them all there is no way you would buy this"  That would really boost sales, huh! Ohohoh...and the other one that grabbed my attenion was a bag of "Fish Portions"! Now the good old 'fish portions' were on sale...buy one bag and get a second free...and it seemed like a good idea until  started to think of what "portion" of the fish that stuff could have been made of.  Then it didn't seem like such a good idea.
oh, the shelfs were full of stuff like that.....gluten free, no high fructose sugare (course they didn't say anything about low fructose sugar) and no saturated fats, and 'only natural flavors'.  Damn....see I was really looking for some thing with a lot of unnatural flavor and full of glutens and fructose and saturated with all sorts of fat.  Gees...whats a shopper to do?  Then I pickeded up some sauce.....

.......now how could I go wrong!  It waid it was 100% natural.....and it was 'Old World' Style; god forbid it would have been only 98% natural and 'Third World' style.....gees, then ANYTHING might be in there!!
Seriously.....what does "FLAVORED WITH MEAT" supposed to mean?  Did they dip a few bones in there while simmering? Did they stir in some all natural unsaturated meat by products?  Well, it sure as hell doesn't say anthing about REAL MEAT being in that stuff/!  ohohoh....and there were other things,,,,made of mostly food byproducts, whatever that could be, in all sorts of stuff.  There were emulsifiers, acids of all types, oils, starches, fibers of unknow origin.  I mean... you had to almost be a chemist to know what was in the stuff that I was goning to stuff into me!   And, as I wandered around that grocery store, less and less of what I was seeing was appetizing.  Hunger was starting to look like a good option.

But it got me to thinking, again.....of.....what if we could label Congress like we could food.....

"Mostly Artificial flavor and color"
"Unfit for Human Consumption"
"Suspected human by products"
"Made of Highly Saturated Stupid"
" No Moral Fiber"
"May cause bran farts"
"if ingested induce vomiting"
"Made of Simple carbohydrates. Do not recycle next election "
"100% reconstituted bullshit"
.........but thinking of Congress makes me want to drink until numb and I did not have enough for a six pack......the brussel sprouts looked good

...and I picked up some Zud.....it is great for scrubbing away Zins...but only venal ones. For Mortal Zins you have to wait until they elect a new Pope

Weather man blues

You don't need a weather man
To know which way the wind blows.

.....but sometimes it helps.
Woke up this morning feeling like a gang of malicious elves were clogg dancing on my back while wearing Clydesdale horse shoes.  Hurt is almost a joyful word compared to how it really felt.  But then...the Doc said that they slid a eight inch tube right down along the rib cage, and, well, golly it was gonna hurts for a bit and a bunch.  Live with it.  Now my first impulse was to pop another vicodin but I have been easing off on those suckers.   Kinda makes me dream of orange snakes sliding around in the jello.....and those were the dreams I had BEFORE I fell asleep.  Should put on label not to take them with Bourbon and glazed doughnuts.

So I turned on the weather channel......and OH....what they said!  Gonna be a snow Storm!  Kansas could get 36 inches....Oklahoma maybe 24.....  Missouri 18....Kansas is gonna get mega inches, Illinois a bunch inches.....and ohohoh...they are calling this Snowstorm 'Q" and I got all confused cause I could't remember snowstorm l-m-n-o-p and I thought they gave them real names, not just letters.  Like, what's wrong with snowstorm Quesadilla?   Just add cheese and go sledding, right?
Well the WeatherLady kept rattling off the inches and the WeatherMan interrupts and asks, "Is that a Heavy Wet or a Light and Fluffy?  Which broke me up.....see, I'm thinking all that talk of inches got him all worked up and he is looking at the WeatherLady like he was ready to do some plowing right now.  He had this look on his face that just broke me up......I think he had taken some Viagra so he would be ready for when the moment was 'right' and all this Wintery Mix talk was doing a number on him.  Well, I got a weird sense of humor and I starte laughing and it hurt my ribs....and golly....I settled for Vicodin and orange juice.
Stuff breaks me up.  The look on that guy's face broke me up.....just like that old Viagra ad...you know....the one were the guys are all so happy that they can finally get a real woody...and what do they do?  ?Sit around with each other and sing about it!!!!!!!!!

ya, that kinda shit always broke me up.  Gees, if they are T"HAT happy ...go home!!!!  Can't screw your banjo in a bar anywayz!
But what you can screw, iffen you can get it up...is the American public.  Oh...and there is a whole lotta that going on!  Start with Obama's choice of Sec of Defense, Chuck Hagel.  Well....the Republicans don't like him...mostly cause he used to be a Republican and a tlot more mostly cause he is Obama's Choice.  Shit, John CCain even admitted he won't vote for him because he said "GW Bush was the worst President since Herbert Hoover."  hmmmmmm  Well, McCain knows a thing or two about bad choices.

ohohoh....it still makes me shudder to think that woman was a blowjob heart beat away from the Vice-Presidency.  Oh Gees!~


....and now they are going to do this sequester thing.....mostly because....well.....because they don't like Obama.   They don't have a plan to balance the budget ...or do anything to help the country......but they have marching orders from Karl Rove and Grover Norquist and the Koch Bros.  The whole plan is simply to shut down all spending and emarass the president.

nah....that is too goddam mild.   The Republicans are just a buncha fools that think they invented the hard-on....yessirree bob.....they got dem low T blues, see, and they popped a pill that they didn't need and now they got an erection that may last well over four years...forget about that four hour stuff ....aw gees.....it really makes me sick....and I got the back pain coming on again, and the snowstorm Q....the weather people tell me....could last all day tomorrow.  I have gone to the library...all stocked up on Bob Dylan, Jimi, some Doors and som symphonic shit I haven't a clue about, but figure it will play good with some vicodin and a heating pad.  ah well......I am conna have my own little sequester and I ain't coming out untiol I elect David Letterman as Pope.

no time for blogging....