Friday, January 9, 2009


OK. So I was offered the new position on a different program for a different client. Wednesday.

HR calls me Thursday, 4:25pm, rightza before I leave the office, to sign the new offer-sheet. Ain't no deal. But when I stop at HR on my way out, all the numbers are wrong. Not what I had discussed with the Program Director. Especially the base pay numbers.

... and especially since I am well beyond season four. So I have a conference with the Program Manager.... then the Business Director.... and then back to HR, who adamantly will not change the SPR-11 form, which is basically the offer sheet, until the Bizzynuts Director rescinds the original offer (which they missed typed) by emailing an EF form, signed. So I pick up the phone on the HR Dimwitty's Desk, very not appreciated by Ms. Dimwitty, and call the BD direct, who instructs me to just tear up the SPR-11, which I do, which really sends Ms. Dimwitty into a dim-tizzy. Which breaks me up, but I really am a nice guy, so I don't laugh and just tell her to pull up a copy of the old one and change the numbers so we can all move beyond this bullshit.

Reminds me of a Neil Young song...

Every time I think aboutback home

It's cool and breezy

I wish that I could be thereright now

Just passing time.

Everybody seems to wonder

What it's like down here

I gotta get awayfrom this day-to-dayrunning around,

Everybody knows

this is nowhere.

Which isn't the song that sticks in my head long...

....cause I'm still in the office.... have virtually nothing to do but pack up my shit and get ready to move to the fourth floor on tuesday. And I got a phone call last night...... from someone I was very connected with a long time ago. And with whom I would reconnect with every so often.... and whom I haven't heard from in awhile... and I get this Joan Baez song buzzing in my ear, in my heart...

Well, I'll be damned

Here comes your ghost again

But that's not unusual

It's just that the moon is full

And you happened to call

And here I sit Hand on the telephone

Hearing a voice I'd known

A couple of light years ago

Heading straight for a fall

.... She invariably asks how my kids are and gives me the latest rundown on her husband. Just trading pages. Asked if I remember the cottage we went to in Eagle River ten years ago or the time in college when she got up in the middle of the night and stepped on my glasses that had fallen on the floor and was so afraid to tell me.

As I remember your eyes

Were bluer than robin's eggs

My poetry was lousy you said

Where are you calling from?

A booth in the Midwest

Ten years ago I bought you some cufflinks

You brought me something

We both know what memories can bring

They bring diamonds and rust

oh.... there had been trips to the zoo in Milwaukee, plays, concerts. Things had been good. But never seemed to be good enough. There was something about my distinct sense of disorder that bothered her. and her sense of neat, tidy, clean, ordered.... were always more that I could handle. But I did love her dearly. So we talked. A long time. Without a mention of a next call or a cup of coffee...... just a talk.

Now I see you standing with brown leaves falling around

And snow in your hair

Now you're smiling out the window of that crummy hotel

Over Washington Square

Our breath comes out white clouds

Mingles and hangs in the air

Speaking strictly for me

We both could have died then and there

Now you're telling me you're not nostalgic

Then give me another word for it

You who are so good with words

And at keeping things vague

'Cause I need some of that vagueness now

It's all come back too clearly

Yes, I loved you dearly

And if you're offering me diamonds and rust

I've already paid

Maybe it all failed, so long ago, because I didn't fill out the proper SPR-11 form.


Randal Graves said...

I think HR stands for Holly Ridiculous. So, six figures? Next 38 rounds are on you?

If one were to sometimes ruminate on your posts - minus the holly HR folly, by golly - they can often cut to our striving for a piece of connection. I don't know if that sentence made sense, but I think you get it.

Liberality said...

congrats on moving on up. yes, the future is so bright you better wear shades!

Lisa said...

Ah, the fun of organizational bureaucracy. I'm glad that you stood your ground.

As for that phone call. Boy is that a familiar situation of late. Those calls where you go all around the what ifs and focus on the remember whens and then at goodbye (awkward or not?) the question mark of when next, if ever. The Baez song got me. I have to go find it.

Missy said...

Sort of heart rending and melancholy--I never get those kinds of calls.

But I do sometimes wonder.

I think maybe it's better to wonder.

I don't know.

Good luck with the fourth floor digs.

Mary Ellen said...

Congrats, kiddo! I'm glad to hear you're moving on up.

Ah, there's nothing like a past love to send you into a tizzy, eh? Look at the bright side, if you had stuck with each other, she would be complaining about the time you spend blogging and then you wouldn't have met all these fine bloggers! Aaaannnnndd, you might not get the time to go down to the local pub to knock down a few whenever you felt the urge.

susan said...

Another fine sunrise and I'm happy to know things have worked out on the career front. As for the lost love I think ME might have hit the nail on the head. We can only look back from where we are now.

Steve Emery said...

Congrats! And those bureaucratic types... so sad, really, that this is all the power they have in their days. There are so many other ways to feel potent.

I love the wistful tone your post built over those blended paragraphs and song lyrics. That was some great writing, guy. A pleasure to read. I hope you exorcised some of the regret by writing it.

okjimm said...

Stuff. You guys are the stuff!

ya, what Randal said.. we are all, always striving for connectivity.

//you might not get the time to go down to the local pub to knock down a few whenever you felt the urge.//

More the sadness, ME, are all the moments I have the urge to go to the local,..... because I missed the conectivity I really wanted which would have quelched any urges to go to the local.

All in all, though.... I bless the fact that Oblio's does have twenty-seven tappers that quelch the feeling of loss from the connectivity you really wanted.

See.... there is always an upside!!

okjimm said...

Steve... //That was some great writing, guy. //

Ya, well when I can write as well as you paint.... then I gotz me sumptin!

Dusty said...

Personally, I think HR freaks are on the same level as Bush...seriously, real asshats that couldn't find their butts with both hands.

As for the SPR-11 form, Bully for you tearing it up in front of Ms. Dimwit. I heart you okjimm!!!!! Your my hero!

Blog Archive