Wednesday, February 4, 2009

OK.... I had a thought

Is it really a question of whether or not you can teach an old dog new tricks.....

is it rather that it may be possible to teach puppies old tricks?

I think it is possible.

That's why most folks at the office, under 35, call me "Mr."..........

&Why I usually come home each night with new bisquits to chew on.

..and lemmee tell you! takes a lotta beer to wash them bisquits down!

Monday, February 2, 2009

What I did of a Sunday past

1.) woke up
2.) had a cup of tea
3.) decided to make me up some a dem lists

... and there is the rub... as shouldn't one have a subject of what a list is to be comprised of before one makes a list?

1.) possibly
2.) sorta
3.) I guess
Whew! Such a relief to know the rules!!

Best Music Purchased in 2008 based solely on reviews read in the New Yorker or the NY Times

1.) Wooden Wand James and the Quiet
Lyrics best described as written by a methadone addict after having a root canal melodically wrapped in arrangements pondered by Bob Dylan while he contemplates a raspberry torte.

1a) Check it out Randal Graves. Seriously.

17.) Bon Iver "For Emma, forever ago"
17a.) Skinny Love lyrics
Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order's tall

I told you told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different "kind"
I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines

7b.) still grokking on this album

jimm's Best OK Recipes for 2009
5.) Peanut Butter &stuff sandwich
5a) two slices of whole wheat bread
5a-1) Eat Healthy
5b) Skippy Peanut Butter
5b-1) Have some brand loyalty, dammitz
5c)take the two slices of whole wheat and smear with copious amounts of Skippy (see 5b). just one side, each, ok? On one slice add whatever jelly, jam is in the fridge. ( orange marmalade not a good choice ) on the other slice dollop a buncha marshmallow creme and some big slices of unfondled bananas..... then squish both pieces together and consume with lavish amounts of really, really cold whole milk.

** best appreciated after 11pm of an evening spent smoking Bangladesh Purple-Red-Bud grown in former rice paddies fertilized with pygmy water buffalo dung. Just informing, is all!

3) Red Beans&Such With Rice
Soak beans overnight. That's the time between sunset and sunrise and that varies, see, so pay attention! Rinse beans and say brief prayer to the God of Legumes. It can't hurt. Put them there beans in a big slow cooker and add 1 can of chicken broth, a bottle of beer and about five cups of water. Add two bay leaves, one tablespoon coarse ground pepper, teaspoon kosher salt, dash of Worcester, and a half teaspoon each of red pepper and white pepper. OK. Now, if you just happen to have a smoked pork hock handy, throw that in too. Turn the crockpot on high and leave it for a couple of hours while you have a beer. Then.
Chop a ham steak into itzy-bitzy sorta pieces and brown in separate fry pan with a fairly decent size onion and a couple of tablespoons of minced garlic. Add that stuff to the pot with a green pepper properly pieced in eighths and proffer to the pot. Slice up and add about three carrots, just because you can.
Then. Drink about four more beers, see, you bought a six pack, one is in the pot and you already drank one, so you have four left. Do the math. Smoke a bunch of the Bangladesh Purple-Red-Bud shit. By the time you remember to check the beans, they should be done. Serve with nice rice.
Books I wanna re-read in 2009

11.) Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole
11a) still one of the funniest books I have ever read

4.) Water for Elephants, Sara Gruen
4a)Just a nice, nice read.

2.) Confederate General from Big Sur Richard Brautigan
2a) reminds me of an old girlfriend. She taught me to be a hippie, &other stuff.

8.) Moby Dick, Melville
8a) I get a 'harpoon-on' reading about white whales. Makes me think of the Ex.

What I will do on a Sunday future
5. Determine if the continent of Atlantis is truly lost or merely misplaced
6. Play mind games with Tony the Bum at Monument Square
7. Buy a pygmy water buffalo
8. Figure out what really is in an eggroll. Seems as if could be anything.

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