Well..... to be honest it wasn't that cold when I FIRST WENT OUT.... maybe 43 or something, but shit and whiskers.... the wind was out of the west at about 35 mph and it felt COLD. AND... I was going to get on my bike and cycle...due WEST. Well, gees&cheese... I gotz about a two steps away from da door and my nipples told me to go back and put on a warmer sweatshirt...... and cold nipples never lie. So I did that,see, and it was still pretty cold. Now, see, just monday it was up into the 80's &stuff.... so I was totally unprepared, like I ever prepare for anything....hey, that kills me, how people 'prepare'[ for things... my favorite is 'prepare for bed' .. aw, c'mon.. like your Beauty Rest is not gonna let you lay down unless you're PREPARED... gimmee a break or gimmee a beer!!! Anyways...it was,well, chilly. Sosa I go back inta the house and calm the nipples down with the electric Remington Razor... not that they are really hairy or anything, but the threat seems to calm them down. Ok... and then I goes back out and sit my cheeks down on the bicycle seat.... and... get this... it had a whole layer of frost!!! AH! So then.... well gosh..... now it feels like a Sarah Palin Blow Job....and now cold fish lips are not gonna touch my Male Unit, see, so I GO BACK again and put on some underwear. Summer's over I guess and there is no way I am gonna try the Remington.....so I re fit the outfit and I am off.
.....to the Farmer's Market.
I want some cheese. Smoked Cheddar. Absolutely great on baked potatoes. Plus the da Church Ladies sell some really really nice pumpkin bread. Well.... I run into Dirty Hands Randy, see, and it is cold, see, so it doesn't take him long to talk me into an inside venue... to watch the Badgers beat the loving bejesus outa Indiana...
(and have a couple of Bloody Marys)which should not be allowed to field a football team, if you ask me or my nipples, but whose asking anyways, see.
AH, but rambling on is a wonderful thing. Randy and I discussed the Republican candidates, the merits of fresh lime when you make Mojitos, checking out Fritz down in Denver, whether beets cause cancer,what time the Packers SHOULD play on a Sunday, which country Obama was really born in, what ants do all winter, AND what is the point of preparing for bed when you just have to get up and take a leak in a few hours anyways.
Ok.... I didn't have anything to say in the first place. It is time to go home, set the tea kettle on, toast some pumpkin bread.... bring out some marmalade..... count the stars in the sky.....and contemplate how the bears have it correct... just hibernate for the winter. That is how cold it felt. I am a whoos.
