Saturday, October 15, 2011

So.... how cold was it?

Well..... to be honest it wasn't that cold when I FIRST WENT OUT.... maybe 43 or something, but shit and whiskers.... the wind was out of the west at about 35 mph and it felt COLD.  AND... I was going to get on my bike and cycle...due WEST.  Well, gees&cheese... I gotz about a two steps  away from da door and my nipples told me to go back and put on a warmer sweatshirt...... and cold nipples never lie.  So I did that,see, and it was still pretty cold.  Now, see, just monday it was up into the 80's &stuff.... so I was totally unprepared, like I ever prepare for anything....hey, that kills me, how people 'prepare'[ for things... my favorite is 'prepare for bed' .. aw, c'mon.. like your Beauty Rest is not gonna let you lay down unless you're PREPARED... gimmee a break or gimmee a beer!!! was,well, chilly.  Sosa I go back inta the house and calm the nipples down with the electric Remington Razor... not that they are really hairy or anything, but the threat seems to calm them down.  Ok... and then I goes back out and sit my cheeks down on the bicycle seat.... and... get this... it had a whole layer of frost!!!  AH!  So then.... well gosh..... now it feels like a Sarah Palin Blow Job....and now cold fish lips are not gonna touch my Male Unit, see, so I GO BACK again and put on some underwear.  Summer's over I guess and there is no way I am gonna try the I re fit the outfit and I am off. the Farmer's Market.

I want some cheese.  Smoked Cheddar.  Absolutely great on baked potatoes. Plus the da Church Ladies sell some really really nice pumpkin bread.  Well.... I run into Dirty Hands Randy, see, and it is cold, see, so it doesn't take him long to talk me into an inside venue... to watch the Badgers beat the loving bejesus outa Indiana... (and have a couple of Bloody Marys)which should not be allowed to field a football team, if you ask me or my nipples, but whose asking anyways, see.

AH,  but rambling on is a wonderful thing.  Randy and I discussed the Republican candidates, the merits of fresh lime when you make Mojitos, checking out Fritz down in Denver, whether beets cause cancer,what time the Packers SHOULD play on a Sunday, which country Obama was really born in, what ants do all winter, AND what is the point of preparing for bed when you just have to get up and take a leak in a few hours anyways.

Ok....  I didn't have anything to say in the first place.  It is time to go home, set the tea kettle on, toast some pumpkin  bread.... bring out some marmalade..... count the stars in the sky.....and contemplate how the bears have it correct... just hibernate for the winter.   That is how cold it felt.  I am a whoos.


nonnie9999 said...

a princess sarah blowjob? is that one that quits when you're only halfway

p.s. here's a household tip (i have very few, so take note). if you are squeezing fresh limes or lemons or any other citrus fruit (for mojitos or whatevah), microwave it for 25 seconds or so before you juice it. they'll practically explode with juice (unlike someone getting a princess sarah blowjob) as soon as you cut into them. sooooo much easier, and you'll get much more juice out of them.

Beach Bum said...

All things being relative a couple of weeks ago we had a "cold snap" down here in South Carolina. It actually got in the low 40's, enough to have the local weather people whining.

Gavrillo said...

The other half likes to say we left Arizona in 2004 because she missed WI weather. She attributes it to being part Norwegian. Yesterday, I badgered her (no pun intended)into helping with some of the fall harvest for sale next season as seed. I should have taken her picture as she sat in the garage with the door open popping soybean pods dressed from head to foot in her blaze orange, insulated gear including the fur lined trooper hat with flip down ear flaps. I finally packed away my cargo shorts.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a perfectly wonderful day that started out a bit harsh. I can remember days like that in Minneapolis. I'd start out with a thin jacket, and by noon, I'd be scraping ice off my car window and hoping the engine would start. But then I'd go home to a cup of hot chocolate and some cinnamon toast! You can't look forward to things like that in the south.

Sherry Peyton said...

Well, I sure ain't lookin' forward to all the malaise of winter. I purely don't like the thought, and now you done and gone and made it real. Damn.

okjimm said...

nonnie... hmmm will have to give that a try... not much of a cocktail kinda guy... beer is good

Dear Bum.... it is the winds that really get to me.... I have tried walking, in the past, when chills were down to -75.

G'rillo... least no one would shoot her, wearing blaze orange when shucking beans!

SDS.... nope.... do not like winter no more no more no more...wet, cold, slushy.... if I want those things I will order a margarita.

Sherry.... sorry... get your tow chains out... looking forward to stuck on the prairie stories hehehe

Christopher said...

How glorious to have fall. Albeit a colder than expected fall.

Here, it was 96' and no fall. Just more endless heat.

I miss the fall weather, the leaves and the superb colors.

But we will be back in Western NY in eighteen weeks. We belong there after all.

I can't wait for the change of seasons.

We thought we would like the year round' sun and heat but in fact, we hate it. It's hellish.

okjimm said...

Well, Christopher... it is what it is.....iffen it ain't the cold it is the sauna of the south, the perpetual rain of the northwest, the heat of the southwest...... or, to really try your soul.... there is North Dakota.... hehehe

Christopher said...

The problem for us here is it's only one thing -- week after week, month after month. The heat.

It's how I imagine life on Mercury.

Randal Graves said...

Yay, cold!

Alecto said...

I'm cold. And I don't want a blow job from Princess Sarah. And I don't want ANYONE COMING ANYWHERE NEAR MY NIPPLES WITH A REMINGTON! ARE WE CLEAR ON THAT FRONT? But I'll adjust eventually and undergarments are a good place to start. I always knew they weren't just accessories. Preparing for bed. I'm still unclear on that. I believe it involves removing at least your shoes and possibly your socks. Your shoes are dirty and your socks stink up the bed. Is that enough of an explanation? Also, depending on who you are and how I'm feeling in the moment the rest of your clothing is optional. I hope that clears THAT up.

With regard to the changing of the season. Fine. Could we just hold back on the snow a little this year? Just a little. And you still make an exceptional neti pot, but this time with tea.

okjimm said...

ya, Chris, just remember, it's not the heat.. it's the humility!

Randal... whatta you know, anywayz! pffffffft....

Alecto... Ha! it is my pleasure to amuse you! re: the remington and nipples.... hey, yaz gotza to try it!!! you will never forget the experience... hehehe

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