Sunday, July 27, 2008

Wowsers Weekend World Weport

Camplain Coverage!

Senator Barack Obama addresses crowd of over 200,000 in Berlin, Germany where he supports closer ties between the US and Europe for a comprehensive global commitment to World peace and progress. His speech brings cheers and massive
amounts of American Flag Waving & Stuff.

Meanwhile Republican candidate John McCain meets with local business folks and shop keepers in Columbus, OH where he urges closer relationships between the USA and the Big Ten. " I would love to give a speech in Germany," he is quoted as saying at Schmidt's Sausage Haus and Restaurant, "but I would prefer to do it as President of the United States than as a candidate for President."

John & Alice Silvertein in the next booth from Senator McCain took this to mean that McCain may soon begin to campaign for President. "I think John would make a good President, " Mr. Silverstein said. "I believe in the choices he makes. For instance, he recommended I get the Bratwurst and Kraut rather than the
Italian Sausage, and by golly, he was right! Very Tasty!"

Later that day at an IHOP in Canton, OH, Senator McCain said that he would also urge closer ties to Belgian Waffles, but would prefer "Green Eggs and Ham if my name were Sam. But I really like Belgian Waffles and I think Belgian Waffles should finally be admitted to the United Nations", he said while passing gas.

In other Camplain news the Media is saying that Senator Obama has been declared, "A Media Darling" and that they are damn sick of it.
Deborah Media of 1812 Overture Ave, Minnetonka MN recently told the St. Paul Pioneer Press that "Obama speaks well, has an excellent voice and keeps going around saying things that sound intelligent and somehow make more sense that what McCain doesn't say. I guess I feel forced into declaring him a 'Darling' even though he has those big ears."

Echoing those sentiments, Albert Media of 1910 Fruit Gum Company Blvd in Clinton,IA in an interview with the Des Moines Register said, "I didn't want to declare him a 'Darling' either, or anything, ya know, but shit&stuff, what choice did I have? McCain is such a boring fuck, and all, and nowhere near to 'Darling-like. I really have reservations about Obama.... I mean Obama spelled backwards is Amabo and that sounds awfully close to a Sly Stallone sequel movie which could very well spell disaster for the US at the box office this fall."

Spokesperson for the Shit From Shinola campaign of fifth party candidate Diva Jood meanwhile addressed a throng of two reporters from the Monroe County Democrat in Sparta, WI. "Our candidate has nothing to say at this time," campaign manager Randal Graves said. "She is too busy conferring with the future Secretary of Strawberries, who by the way is a real darling. And there is a scheduled nap time after that."

When pressured Graves said, " I don't give a rat's ass about the 'Darling' controversy. Fuck the Media, Anyways! If I want to read about Darlings, I will re-read 'Peter Pan'! Now get the fuck out of my way," Graves casually added, " I have nothing to do today and I must get it done immediately!"


Ghost Dansing said...

looks like a couple a' hooks need Tinkerbell........

susan said...

Crack me up. For this I'm sending the Fifth Party candidate for Chief Filing Clerk of State out to buy you a big bag of extra luscious jelly donuts.

Liberality said...

such straightforwardness is always darling in my book. that waffle don't look too bad either.

Scarlet W. Blue said...

You so seldom find reports on those fifth party candidates. How refreshing.

I think I saw that Randal Graves on the FBI's Most Wanted list at the Post Office.

Randal Graves said...

That waffle does indeed appear darling.

Look, I would never swear in public. Fly, fly my pretties, fly! Wait, that's another story. Did I ever tell you about the time I ended up on the FBI's most wanted list?

Think McCain will be adopting Jumpin' Jack Flash as his campaign song? He can't jump all that high being an old white dude, but man, all that flatulence.

Mary Ellen said...

Oh ruined my day with that pic of Obama. Give a nunly a break, already! No for Diva Jood! We can draw the same freakin' crowd that Obama did if we had two famous rock bands along with plenty of bratwurst and beer before the rally. The news media can have Obama...the blogosphere is where it's at and they have DIVA JOOD FOR PRESIDENT!

DivaJood said...

I did take a scheduled nap, too. On Saturday. Before I went to the Theater. And then yesterday covered my perfect pink butt with sunscreen and ate way too much chocolate which made me really happy. The future Secretary For Strawberries went to the beach.

okjimm said...

Just saw a reprt on CNN: McCain had a 'mole-like growth removed'. Early biopsy reveals it was merely his malignant imagination.

Jelly Donuts! The Fifth Party needs burnable calories!

Yes, SWB you did see Randal's image on the PO Wall. I am trying to hit as many Post Offices as I can before the football season commences.

Yes, Libs, Waffles should be provided for the campaign....maybe if we give them out at Polling Places on Election Day we can sway some votes. Sweet Tricks! Not Dirty Tricks!!

ME....just just had your carpets cleaned....calm down....have a jelly donut :)

Diva...Prezidints need naps....Reagan swore by them.

Randal, 'Jumpin' Jack Flash' More like Jumpin' Hot Flash.

Mary Ellen said...

Just saw a reprt on CNN: McCain had a 'mole-like growth removed'. Early biopsy reveals it was merely his malignant imagination.

Did the mole look like this?

Dusty said...

I really stop by here for all the real news..and you don't disappoint okjimm! ;)

DivaJood said...

BTW, Dr. Zaius stole away the Minister of UFOs from my cabinet. I posted about this grievous theft today, and now need another nap.

Anajo/Anijo/JoAnn said...

Okay, so I support Barack Obama. I suppose that that makes me persona non grata here. But then I also support Hillary Clinton.

Divahood.... Manhood.. Blackhood... personhood... I'm all for that.. For all of that..

okjimm said...

ME....nope....that is too benign a mole.... the one removed from McCain looked more like Rush Limbaugher.

Dusty? Real News? Aw,shit, my secret is out! Damn! (and by the by---holy shit, how do you find to write so much? Wowsers!)

Gees Diva----/Minister of UFO/ Can't we just pick up another one at Pet World or sumptin?

Hey, Jo, wanna be Minister of UFO's....

Mary Ellen said...

okjimm- Maybe Jo could be Minister of Indian Affairs--being from New Mexico and all? Of course, maybe the Indians don't want us butting our noses into their affairs...and there's that whole Constitutional 4th Amendment thing. Oh wait...that's right, the clowns who voted for FISA made sure we lost those rights.'s alright to look into Indian affairs, but the minister must be very quiet and sneak up on them so they don't know their affairs are being monitored.

Dusty said...

hey okjimm,

I get about 200 emails a day from all the news agencies in the world. I read them all..seriously.

An informed public can make intelligent decisions..or so they tell me. ;)

DivaJood said...

Anajo/Anijo/JoAnn would have to be one of the Supremes, as Blueberry has jumped at being Minister of UFOs.

Anonymous said...

jeez, if you can'r be nice to the press, who can ya be nice to. I need a nap.

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