I love my Corporate Activities Committee

I thought the 'Hawaiian Shirt Day' thing was a dumb joke. Really. I didn't believe it. Thought it was a stupid-joke email. It wasn't. I love fucking corporate America. Breaks me up.

But a chance to wear sandals to the office is too good to pass up. So I dug out some piece of shit shirt that Cathy Cute Cakes gave me a few years back, before we broke up,

(hey, her loss! How many other guys can she know that can lick their eyebrows? That shoulda counted for something, huh!)

that really sorta kinda looks like curtains my Grandmother once had, found a pair of shorts that were reasonably clean, and got really excited about going to work and having some good time corporate fun!

Wowsers! Wearing a Hawaiian Shirt and Sandals to work really elevates the ol fun factor! It is even more fun when the IT guys try to do you a favor and fuck up your data base. It is even more fun when your boss hasn't got a clue about what you do. Seriously. She hasn't got a clue!!
I got the project from one of the Senior VP's and was assigned, nominally, a manager. Now, I gotta be fair, she's Ok&stuff but complex information, like what year did the War of 1812 occur or who is buried in Grant's Tomb really throw her off. We made a congenial deal last year. I kept it simple. Run the reports and don't fuck with me. It works great!

So my data base is being reloaded, the lunch room is full of free fruit and punch....I'm at my desk barefoot.... life can be good. And just to show what a team-player I am....to get in the spirit of things....I skipped wearing underwear this morning. Whoa, is that a banana in my pocket or am I just happy today!

LET’S TALK DIRTY IN HAWAIIN
By John Prine

Well, I packed my bags and bought myself a ticket
For the land of the tall palm tree.
Aloha, Old Milwaukee, Hello, Waikiki
I just stepped down from the airplane
When I heard her say,
"Wacka, wacka, nooka likka,
Wacka, wacka, nooka likka,
Would you like a lei?"

Hey!Let’s talk dirty in Hawaiin,
Whisper in my ear.
Kicka pooka mok a wa wahine
Are the words I wanna hear.
Lay your coconuta on my tiki,
What the hecka, mooka, mooka, dear,
Let’s talk dirty in Hawaiin,
Say the words I long to hear.

It’s a ukelele, Honolulu sunset,
Listen to the grass skirts sway,
Drinkin’ rum from the pineapple
Out on Honolulu Bay.
The steel guitars are playing
While she’s talking with her hands,
"Gimme, gimme oka-doka
make a wisha wanna polka,"
Words I understand.

I boughta lotta junka with my moola,
And I sent it to the folks back home,
I never had a chance to dance the hula,
Well, I guess I should have known
When you start talkin’ to a sweet wahine,
Walkin’ in the pale moonlight
"Ohka noka whatta setta
knocka-rocka sis-boom-boccas."
Hope I said it right.