Thursday, June 19, 2008

I love my Corporate Activities Committee

I thought the 'Hawaiian Shirt Day' thing was a dumb joke. Really. I didn't believe it. Thought it was a stupid-joke email. It wasn't. I love fucking corporate America. Breaks me up.

But a chance to wear sandals to the office is too good to pass up. So I dug out some piece of shit shirt that Cathy Cute Cakes gave me a few years back, before we broke up,

(hey, her loss! How many other guys can she know that can lick their eyebrows? That shoulda counted for something, huh!)

that really sorta kinda looks like curtains my Grandmother once had, found a pair of shorts that were reasonably clean, and got really excited about going to work and having some good time corporate fun!

Wowsers! Wearing a Hawaiian Shirt and Sandals to work really elevates the ol fun factor! It is even more fun when the IT guys try to do you a favor and fuck up your data base. It is even more fun when your boss hasn't got a clue about what you do. Seriously. She hasn't got a clue!!
I got the project from one of the Senior VP's and was assigned, nominally, a manager. Now, I gotta be fair, she's Ok&stuff but complex information, like what year did the War of 1812 occur or who is buried in Grant's Tomb really throw her off. We made a congenial deal last year. I kept it simple. Run the reports and don't fuck with me. It works great!

So my data base is being reloaded, the lunch room is full of free fruit and punch....I'm at my desk barefoot.... life can be good. And just to show what a team-player I am....to get in the spirit of things....I skipped wearing underwear this morning. Whoa, is that a banana in my pocket or am I just happy today!

LET’S TALK DIRTY IN HAWAIIN
By John Prine

Well, I packed my bags and bought myself a ticket
For the land of the tall palm tree.
Aloha, Old Milwaukee, Hello, Waikiki
I just stepped down from the airplane
When I heard her say,
"Wacka, wacka, nooka likka,
Wacka, wacka, nooka likka,
Would you like a lei?"

Hey!Let’s talk dirty in Hawaiin,
Whisper in my ear.
Kicka pooka mok a wa wahine
Are the words I wanna hear.
Lay your coconuta on my tiki,
What the hecka, mooka, mooka, dear,
Let’s talk dirty in Hawaiin,
Say the words I long to hear.

It’s a ukelele, Honolulu sunset,
Listen to the grass skirts sway,
Drinkin’ rum from the pineapple
Out on Honolulu Bay.
The steel guitars are playing
While she’s talking with her hands,
"Gimme, gimme oka-doka
make a wisha wanna polka,"
Words I understand.

I boughta lotta junka with my moola,
And I sent it to the folks back home,
I never had a chance to dance the hula,
Well, I guess I should have known
When you start talkin’ to a sweet wahine,
Walkin’ in the pale moonlight
"Ohka noka whatta setta
knocka-rocka sis-boom-boccas."
Hope I said it right.

10 comments:

Randal Graves said...

Am I the only dude between 8 and 80 that hates wearing sandals?

Anajo/Anijo/JoAnn said...

Hawaiin shirt day? You've lost me.

And I thought that one could wear sandals on any given day, no big deal.

WEll, Randal, I'm 51 and I wear sandals.


I guess that here in the southwest where it's either warm or hot, or relatively cold, sandals are standard attire and not all that big of deal, no matter the age and even for some accountants (well, at least for some of us)

okjimm said...

what? Are your toes ugly or do you have a sock fetish? You need to experience 'Freedom Feet'. It's a French deal.

okjimm said...

Jo...I thought you gave up being an accountant....to just be a barefoot hippie chick again. :) bisquits, bisquits!

susan said...

How can I not leave you the lyrics of my own favorite song inspired by Hawaii? It's Warren Zevon's 'Hula Hula Boys':

I saw her leave the luau
With the one who parked the cars
And the fat one from the swimming pool
They were swaying arm in arm
I could hear the ukuleles playing
Down by the sea
She's gone with the hula hula boys
She don't care about me
She's gone with the hula hula boys
She don't care about me
They're singing,

Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana (everybody sing the chorus together now!) or
Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana (get to the point...cut to the chase)
Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana
Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana

Yesterday she went to see
The Polynesian band
But she came home with her hair all wet
And her clothes all filled with sand
I didn't have to come to Maui
To be treated like a jerk
How do you think I feel
When I see the bellboys smirk?
And I can hear the ukuleles playing
Down by the sea
She's gone with the hula hula boys
She don't care about me
They're signing,

Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana
Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana
Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana
Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana
Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana
Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana

Isn't it fun to get all this empty space for comments?

okjimm said...

susan...you can comment all you want.... anyone who has Zevon lyrics in their pocket is a friend of mine! ;)

Randal Graves said...

Why do you hate socks? Commie.

Sandals just bug me. I'd rather go barefoot!

okjimm said...

Barefoot works for me, too..... but bar floors and barefoot are not a good combination.

Anajo/Anijo/JoAnn said...

Hi Jimm!
I'm not only a hippie chick, I'm also a commie! :)

okjimm said...

Boy, dem hippie-commie chicks....I bet you speak French too.

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