Thursday, April 28, 2011

What should I get them... that happy couple, them!!!

OK.... as I have related elsewhere.... My invitation to Will and Kate's wedding bash was misplaced by the USPS.... but it did arrive... and lemmee tell you.... I am happier than a zombie in a Stephen King novel!!!   Whoa... I got out my best tie-died t-shirt and my old navy blazer... found a pair of jeans that does look all that bad, polished up the old tennie shoes, got a fairly clear Green Basy Packer cap.  Boy!!!  See, I gotz the bus ticket to Milwaukee, figure I take then take the bus to Chicago and well, gosh, from there I will figure something out.

But, see, the thing that is really bothering me is what should I get them?  I had a really nifty toaster all picked out....

but then,,,, saw so many others.... that I just couldn't make up my mind

Like... what if they already had one..... or maybe someone with the same kinda tastes like me would get them the same kind.... or what if the one I got did not run on the same current as theyz gotz in Britland, ... see it was tough.... cause iffen I were to get married again, gees, I sure would like a new toaster.  I think mine is from 1963 or something maybe a '65.
England swings like a pendulum do,
Bobbies on bicycles, two by two,
Westminster Abbey the tower of Big Ben,
The rosy red cheeks of the little children

..... gees, there are so many TOASTERS... and I have so little bread.  I like the model that is also a radio.... boy&howdy, I have seen some spiffy stuff in my day, but that would be the stuff!!  Yessirree Bob... I sure would want a toaster that would sing with me!!

OR..... I could get .......them...................................................................................

A BLENDER>>> Shit&Whiskers!!! every-o-body can use a new blender.... I mean when you have a whole house full of Royalish people and see, you wanna make mararitaz or whatever.... you need a good blender!! YUPPERZ.. A NICE BLENDER
Sams Club has an in store deal going on for this gas-powered blender that is certain to make short work of mixing any drink you can come up with. The blender is powered by a 43cc 2-stroke gas engine mounted on a stand with a stainless steel blender cup and a variable speed throttle to get just the right amount of blending for your drinks. It’s even decorated with diamond-plated accents to give it that classy-tool look. If you can find a store that has them in stock you can walk out with one for about $100.

.... or maybe a neato underwear dispenser?  Hmmmmm.... I mean, (blush blush wink wink) Newly-type-Weds are always needing clean underwear.... what with all the (blush wink blush wink... wink-a-blush&stuff)

Or a new set of glasses.... something swany and posh and classy.... not that the Britishes are class conscious....nope... not with all them there Dukes and Earls and Dukes of Earls and shit&stuff they have moore princes than you can shake a frog at!!!!  But they are an equal opportuniy type nation meaning they are just as likely to get into some fucked-u[ situation as their Americoid cousings.  Always one of the nicest thing about them Englanders.... they love a good colonial war as well as the next guy.

......Course.... could just get them a cat. 

Well anywayz, I am excited as all get out..... and I am sooooooo glad that I am getting 24/7 coverage of this wedding.... see, cause I figure there are about 6,000 Americans.... that will never be married


Sherry said...

Well ain't you just the snotty one! You sound like my husband who has been groaning for two weeks about how much his "ass aches" everytime the royals come on TV. Well I have my alarm set, and the champayne is chillin' and so THERE!

Ha..and and and, well HA! tee hee

tnlib said...

To paraphrase Ron at Liberal Values, I don't know whether I don't care or I don't give a damn.

David Barber said...

Well, I don't care and I don't give a damn!! All I can say is, I hope Kate puts her seatbelt on everytime she gets in a car after tomorrow!! (In bad taste I know...but you never know do you??)

Jim, you could get her a teetotal chauffer! Ha!

Sue said...

Frankly m' dear I don't give a damn and I'm damn pissed cuz Ed Schultz isn't on tonight because of WEDDING COVERAGE!! That is sick!!

S.W. Anderson said...

I'm with Sue, except I was hoping to catch repeats of the whole MSNBC lineup later on. Since Will and Kate aren't jailbirds, I figured I had a chance tonight (as opposed to Friday night). But no.

I'm OK with a certain amount of attention to this event, but think that as usual, the media are going way overboard with it. As you say, some equal time for too-easily-forgotten, real heroes is in order.

Gift wise, I recommend a couple boxes of those things you tape on your nose to keep your nostrils open at night so you don't snore. Odds are, at least one of them snores.

HTH ;)

Beach Bum said...

Dude! That blender is freaking awesome!

As for the royals, good for them. Anything that promotes a party will work for me. Imagine all the hot and lonely chicks in London lining the route crying over Willy being taken off the market. Excuse my shallow remark but it would be like shooting ducks in a barrel.

Infidel753 said...

I don't even watch TV and I'm fed up with it. All the British news sites I generally rely on for foreign news have been clogged up with this soap opera for days. Now that it's done, maybe Syria and Pakistan and the euro crisis will finally get more coverage again.

Everybody buys toasters for weddings. You should get something more memorable. If you want to stick with kitchenware, consider something in the slice-and-dice line -- like that nifty gadget the French people gave Louis XVI in 1793. The perfect gift for royalty for any occasion.

okjimm said...

Sherry.... I am NOT snooty... until I get a snoot full!

Leslie.... I would give a damn... but my apathy just keeps getting in the way!!

David... Ha! If I didn't have bad taste, why gosh., I wouldn't have any taste at all!!

Sue... Next Kate &Will be on Dancing with the Stars

SW.... hmmmm a Snore Proof America... I think you could be onto something

Infidel... Slice&Dice..... but but but How will they toast their , ah, muffins? I could get by without TV... except for football, the Weather Channel, History Channel... good thing I'm ripping off the cable connection

nonnie9999 said...


isn't that the pub where kate and wills are having their reception?

okjimm said...

HA! if I ever open a pub... that's what I am going to name it!!!!

the sandwich's may be suspect, though! hehehehe

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