Friday, March 6, 2009

How My Life Changed

It started out as an innocent thought. I began to think at parties of how to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone-"to relax," I told myself-but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Ralph Waldo Emerson's work to enhance my thinking. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, pondering, "What is it exactly that I am doing here?" Things weren't going so great in my outside life either. One evening, after eating dinner, I asked Cheryl about the meaning of life. She stared at me, aghast. I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker.

One day the my boss called me in. He said, "Jimm, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking, you're going to have to find a new job."

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Cheryl," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want to see other people!"

"But Cheryl, surely it's cannot be that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I slammed the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with some Beethoven melody playing softly in the background. I roared into the> parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors... they didn't move. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I have a new job now, and things are a lot better.

Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking


Life As I Know It Now said...

so that's the trick. listening to the BBC news last night I was thinking I am so sick and tired of all this economic crap and politics and stuff--I don't want to think about it anymore.

and how cool is that that the library did NOT let you down but instead pointed the way for your recovery? at this place where I work we don't have those posters though. maybe you can start a group over here?

Randal Graves said...

I don't have a thinking problem, you do! No, wait, you don't anymore. I can control my thinking anytime I want.

Ah, Porky's.

"Please, please, can we just say tallywacker? Penis is so, er, ah, personal!"

Mary Ellen said...

I was just there an Tananon (or would it be Talanon?) group for people who have loved ones who are thinkers to cope with? My husband is always thinking and I hate that. I guess I should have seen it coming when he told me he was a scientist. Damned thinkers, those scientists!

Have a nice (thought-less) weekend, kiddo. ;-)

Distributorcap said...

i stopped thinking a long time ago -- at least i think i did

lisahgolden said...

I joined the 12 step Thinkers Anonymous and I'm in step nine where I have to make amends for all those awful things I did when I was thinking.

Unknown said...

I refuse to give up thinking..nevah!

That is...until I get stoned..then I don't think..I think.

anita said...

so there you have it. your life became unmanageable due to your thinking. and did you realize only a "power" greater than yourself could restore you to sanity?

Grandpa Eddie said...

I have found that when I thinks too much one of the following happens:
1) I get myself in trouble.
2) I get someone else in trouble.
3) I get a headache.
4) I drift off and fall asleep.

okjimm said...

Ya, I am thinking way too much at work. I gotta knock it off. Not thinking at home has never been a problem.

St. Patrick's Day is coming up. I am not religious, I am not Irish. It is my favorite day for drinking and not thinking. My traditional beginning of Spring. Then I can start thinking again.

Welcome Grampy E!

susan said...

Hi, my name is Susan and I admit I've been thinking.

okjimm said...

Hold it, Anita, I dunno if I Grok a higher power than's a ting thought, I think.

okjimm said...

Hi. Susan. Welcome to Thinkers Anonymous. Don't give it a thought.

Anonymous said...

Ya know Jimmy... I've been doing a lot of thinking lately myself. And I have to say that it's making my brain hurt. Is that supposed to happen?

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