Friday, August 8, 2008

Wowser World Wide Weekend Weport

In late breaking news...... John McCain is set to address a Banana conference in Duluth, Minnesota. Over two hundred bananas are expected to attended. Countless others will parody the speech on-line. When asked if he ever reads the Wowser World Wide Weekend Weport the senile Senator said:

"I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself. I don't expect to be a great communicator, I don't expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need."
--New York Times interview, July 13, 2008

Topless Bananas at Peeling for Peace Rally
The esteemed Senator was also asked about his stance on illegal immigration and in a heated argument with Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), concerning immigration legislation said
"Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room."
The daffy, zany, fun-loving Senator also asks all concerned citizens to report suspected illegal aliens.
He is also proposing putting up a 20,000 ft fence around Mars to prevent the flow of illegal aliens into the US.
"Fucking aliens," the astute legislator was heard to exclaim.
typical illegal alien

"I was a POW and that qualifies me to say whatever the fuck I want! And if some goddam left-wing shithead doesn't like it..... well then he can vote for the nigger!"

When asked if he did not think that his comments were racist, the metamucil chugging, ex-lax eating campaigner stated that yes, he was a racist....

"..and I am determined to win this race! But first, I really need to take a shit. Where's the John?"

Cindy McCain was not present at the rally; reports are that she was fellating a banana.


Randal Graves said...

Yes, we have bananas. Our country is bananas. Someone really shouldn't have peeled us open because if Obama wins, then we'll be brown, just like an old banana. Do you think we should take up a collection of pills for Cindy? I'm sure she feels left out.
You bananas get off my lawn!

DivaJood said...

If McCain needs to poop, he can use the shit box.

Hey, mambo, mambo italiano,
Hey, mambo, mambo italiano...

Anonymous said...

peeling for peace rally?

Unconventional Conventionist said...

Looking at that alien picture makes me think that THAT'S what McCain thinks "Eye-rack" is.

okjimm said...

RG.... Cindy IS married to a pill!

Ms. Jood....mcCain IS a shit box

Missy... yuppers...Peeling for Peace.... set me back a few dollar bills, too!

UC....Eye-Rack, U-Rack, we all Rack for Mc-Rack!

Randal Graves said...

"My friends, my wife Cindy will now peel for peace, free banana n' buffalo chip splits for everyone!"

Border Explorer said...

Now there's an illegal alien to get excited about.

DivaJood said...

How do those bananas stay so upright in the snow?

Liberality said...

McCain appeals to the baser instincts in order to win the race. Hey, it worked for Bush and monkey see, monkey do.

Bradda said...

"I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself..."

Gross, thinking of McCain wacking it to online porn is sick!

Mary Ellen said...

Oh my, banana's, boob aliens, and McCain, all in one post. You've outdone yourself, okjimm. :-D

Why did the print on your post get so small near the end, though? Are you trying to make me go blind? Yikes!

Distributorcap said...

mary ellen

what cindy mccain does to bananas makes one go blind

Anonymous said...

Who knew that we'd been invaded? Get Lou Dobbs on the phone. He'll want to see those aliens.

Scarlet W. Blue said...

You're scaring me. And that boob picture will give me nightmares.

Anonymous said...

Those bananas always pop up whenever the alien boobs come by. They're like magnets.

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