Wednesday, August 13, 2008

BITE ME!

I dreamed of doughnuts last night. Jelly filled. Calorie filled. Sugar Coated.
If I did not have an aversion to uniforms and billy clubs, I might have been a cop.

And dreaming of doughnuts is so much better than nightmares of the political scene and the idiot talking heads and scurrying rabid birds that inhabit that scene.


And I McCaint think of the senile fuck with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder who is running for Pretzeldynt. Everytime I see one of his ads or see him addressing throngs of disinterested voters in supermarkets.. and such.... I get painful rectal itch or an itch to retch. Or a painful itchy rectal retch.......so I try not to think of him at all. (which can be dangerous. It would be best if he was freeze-dried and put on exhibit)
Anyways.... I would rather dream of doughnuts and pleasant company.


Sit around with Randal and discuss Proust and Metallica while enjoying a cream filled doughnut.


Or have tea and a chocolate eclair with Anita and read the latest about Emily Dickinson.

Or have a Vegan doughnut with Liberality when she takes a break from moving books.




And there are other things to do besides watching politics and doughnut dreaming.
It is the pepper and tomato harvest season. Last spring a buddy, Brian, and I put in a community garden. We planted cherry tomatoes, plum tomatoes, black tomatoes.... and Thai peppers, habeneros, jalepenos, green peppers, banana peppers, and even a 'what-the-fuck-kind-of-pepper-is-that' pepper. We're not sure. I think the lesson is never get really stoned when you buy seedlings in the spring.


I think I was craving salsa and chips when I bought all that stuff. And Brian has totally lost interest.

I spent two hours last night weeding and harvesting. Donated more blood to the mosquitos than I did during the last Red Cross Blood drive. At least the Red Cross gives you cookies and orange juice when you are done.

So I'm gonna make some BLTs, eat lotza salads, make some chili.

Next year, though, I'm going to buy some doughnut bushes.

After all....... everyone knows,,,,,,,,,, doughnuts do not grow on trees.

14 comments:

Mary Ellen said...

I'd rather have a salad than a jelly doughnut...and I'd rather have salsa than a salad. So, I'll be over to your place about dinnertime, leave the door unlocked if you're not home, I can find my way to the fridge.

okjimm said...

'bout time you got back, kiddo! Didya kick alla kids outta the house? Everyone is happy &well?

Randal Graves said...

If I already knew that you weren't a gentleman, I'd say you were a gentleman. Let's scholarize over some of those peppers. I'll even bring, well, the money for the beer. I know jack shit about lagers and all that razz-ma-jazz.

You know, the BLT is on the shortest of short lists of the greatest sandwiches, assuming such a list exists.

okjimm said...

Randal.... A BLT with fresh garden tomatoes, deli bacon and fresh lettuce on lightly toasted whole week......

oh, the joy!

I cannot stand hot-house tomatoes; but this time of year I go nuts. Popping cherry tomatoes like they were popcorn.... a chunk of sharp cheddar.... add a football game (even the lame pre-season works for me)

Just have to remember to WASH your hands well after chopping Habeneros. Damn near went blind last night when I inadvertently wiped my eyes.

I may not be good looking.... but I am stupid, too! ;)

Mary Ellen said...

okjimm- yup, all the kids from out of town are gone, my son leaves tomorrow for college.

I have to agree with Randal on the sandwich thing...in my meat eating days, there was nothing like a BLT. There was a little deli on the first floor of one of the offices I worked at in the Loop that made the best BLT's EVER! I don't think I've ever had one that good since. If I had one of those in front of me right now, I'd ditch the whole vegetarian thing in a New York minute.

Oh...and there was another deli that made the most amazing Pastrami sandwiches. Why did I give up meat, anyway????

Dr. Zaius said...

"...read the latest about Emily Dickinson..."

She has been dead for 122 years. Aside from that, I am guessing that there is not a lot of recent news.

Can I have a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich? Make it two!

Unconventional Conventionist said...

Hmmm, donut posts always get me in touch with my inner Homer Simpson. Ahhhh.

Hey I got some chiles and tomatoes firing up too! Let's have a salsa contest!

Spartacus said...

Hey! How about growing a crumb cake tree next year? I hear their easy to tend to and bear delicious sugary, buttery treats.....

Liberality said...

A vegan donut. How about a vegan chocolate chip cookie. Those are pretty good--even without eggs and butter and stuff like that. I don't know how it's possible to be honest!

okjimm said...

ME 'Why did I give up meat, anyway????'

musta been lent and you forgot, huh?

DR Z....//Can I have a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich? Make it two!//
pretty steep delivery charges.... anything outta two block radius is $4 a mile....I ain't totally stupid. best to eat it here.

UC....not a bad idea, Salsa contest, how we gonna pull it off?

Spartz.... now you're thinking!!! a doughnut bush and a crumb cake tree! Now allz we need is a beer river and.....well, shit, I think that DOES cover everything!

okjimm said...

Libbs,,,,, I don't know how it's possible, either. Is IT?

A vegan chocolate chip cookie? Isn't that when you just eat the chocolate chips and pretend it's a cookie?

Break me up, kiddo!

susan said...

Cherry tomatoes, cheddar and beer sounds great as does the BLT - which I haven't got around to making since we stopped being vegetarians a year or so ago. My husband suffered it but never liked it and I got too lazy to be bothered with it after ten years. The look on his face when I told him it would be okay for him to go to the deli for roast beef was priceless. We don't eat much meat but dinners are happier now.

DCup said...

Wait. I'm late on this one.

A doughnut bush?????

Want.

Missy said...

My neighbor makes this great habenero-strawberry jam. Sweet and hot.

Tomatoes in August--I loves me a tomato sandwich when the tomato is warm from the garden. Bacon's a bonus.

Is it lunch time yet?

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