Sunday, July 6, 2008

Cheese on a stick


Ok. I checked out Cheese-Ona-Stick. The Carnie lady explained it to me. They take a big chunk of cheddar, put it on a stick, dip in in Corn Dog batter and deep fry it. Yuppers, Cheese-Ona-Stick.
Now if I had had the right amount of beer, it would have been a no-brainer and I woulda bought one of them suckers. But I hadn't. I get a quick glimpse of the bubbling vat of grease that she was gonna deep fry that sucker in and it sure as heck looked like some floating bits of squirrel floating in there and then I getta glance of the heft and girth of the the beauty in the purple tank top who was amourously sticking one of the culinary delights in her gaping maw. Gees, she was a cutie. I mean that there are various body parts sticking out of various places in this tank top that is about three sizes too small and three washes away from being clean. And she has 'Nicole' tatooed over what can only be called a perverse bovine protruberence I suppose to alert the beau of the day/husband what name he should moan during the blessed event and all. He could very well forget, as a blessing, I'm sure. Beats me. Kinda looks like a name tag at a Hooker's convention, "Hi My Name Is Nicole". And she frames this whole persona with dyed jet black-goddamed hair accentuated with really cute streaks of a pukey flourescent blue. And the cutest damn nose ring. And lips that looked like a newly waxed fire engine that could well suck the chrome off an exhaust pipe and she is practically fellating this deep fry cheese thingee.....gees.....
Well I am an intrepid kinda guy and I am still thinking of getting one, just so I can write about it and this could, ya know, be a once in a life time experience, after all, and maybe I should give it a try. Then the wind shifted to the north and washed me and all my olfactories with the essence of diesel fumes from the Carnie rides with a distinct under tone of Porta-Potties greatly in need of servicing on a hot afternoon......AND THEN...
Mr. I-gotta-remember-the-name-Nicole shows up and Shit&Whiskers! Wowsers! Just one look at him and a peek at his Budweiser washed eyes explains why ol Nicole felt the need for the name tag! Gees! And he orders one! And that's it. I'm done. I'm supposed to meet Billy Lang and the boat down by the docks and I remember that Billy likes to go real fast in the boat. Discretion IS the better part of valor.
I wish I could tell you what Cheese-Ona-Stick tastes like. I really do.

12 comments:

DCup said...

Oh, I think I've got a pretty good idea of what it would taste like. That's the kind of thing that you need just one bite. That's all.

But from that picture, I can almost smell it.

Mary Ellen said...

Heart attack on a stick...yummy.

A Fekkyn Loonatyk said...

God, I'm having chest pains right now.

Liberality said...

But that's almost how all the women here in Indiana look anymore!

The hubby and I was watching an old film (Jaw II) and I'm like "look, all the people are skinny the way they used to be" and he says "yeah, the way we STILL ARE". My son is skinny too and he thinks he's underweight compared to all his peers, who are big, big, big! I tell him he is normal. But the new normal, here in America, is BIG, except for the movie stars and models of course.

fairlane said...

How dare ya' talk 'bout tha' luv'a muh life like 'at.

You's uh summanabitch.

DivaJood said...

It's sort of like grilled cheese, except not grilled, and not on bread, and on a stick instead, and really greasy and... oh, never mind.

Mary Ellen said...

I'll bet that fried cheese on a stick would taste a lot better if it was dipped in some sort of buttery/cheesy sauce or something. What kind of wine do you drink with that cheese, btw? Boone's Farm Apple Wine?

okjimm said...

Dcup....I could not stomach a bite. I once did a 'one day' gig as a carnival barker...straight cash, enough to fix my glasses and I was done. It was, uh, interesting.

ME..Heart attack on a stick is right....and frankly, it was one of the more palatable offerings there!

Fekkyn..yessirre bob....I didn't try their 'pickle on a stick' either. I didn't wanna know.

Liberality.....unfortunately you are correct /new normal, here in America, is BIG/ Big Cars, Big Homes, Big Heads ana lotta fat talk.

Fairlane... gees, she was hot! You missed a good un!

Diva-It was almost enough....almost... to make me give up cheese.

susan said...

I was really hoping you never made it by the cheezonnastik booth but you just had to take your camera and go there, didn't you? Between that and Nicole I'm not sure what made me queasier but thanks at least for not pointing your lens at the bovine protruberence.

Randal Graves said...

Dude, I can't wait to read your memoirs.

okjimm said...

Susan....checking out cheeseonastick is one thing....buying and ingesting...I'm really not that brave!

Randal...I'm hoping that my best memoirs are still gonna happen.

Freida Bee said...

I will offer the voice of dissent here and chastise you for passing up a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to try a fried pickle. My daughter keeps telling me how delicious one she had was. Don't worry, she's still skinny, though I do admit that if the word gets out too well, then it might be served as a vegetable in school cafeterias.

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