Thursday, February 2, 2012

Holy Bat-Shitz-Crazy-Man.... it that a snake in your pocket... or....

Wow... a funny thing happened.... see, I was just sitting around, minding my own business, which, if you gotta know, doesn't take up much time, or really, see, like, no time at all... but anywayz... I checked into this Blog, see, one that talks alot of politics, peace, dollar values, Republicans, what kind of jewelry Kim Kardashian might have in her navel and other esoteric thoughts.  Nice place, really.

But the blog owner has a troll.  Well, a few, to be true.  But one is just, well, the kind who will take a topic, any topic, and runaway with it.  If the blog owner would post a recipe for peach cobbler this Troll, in a relatively civil fashion, would opine that apricots were a superior fruit and all of the apricots in America are threatened by invasive Almond trees being planted by a nefarious gang of illegal Norwegian immigrants.... none of whom have Red, white, or BLUE CARDS to say nothing of GREEN.  Gees & shit, he would venture forth, it is all a liberal plot fostered by that No Good nig black guy in the White House of Shame& Mirrors.

Ok.. he is pretty much on the right wing side of life, which really ain't no big deal or nothing, just saying, but I kind of get the impression, from reading his comments, that he thinks Genghis Khan was a pretty good 'job creator' and maybe we should have that kind of leadership now.  Ok, I don't want to paint the wrong picture here. I'm guessing he is a nice guy and changes his underwear at least weekly.

So.... this is what breaks me up......and I will get to the snakes, just hold on.

What the topic was, on this here blog that I am talking about... and please, keep this straight...The BLOG OWNER is a kindly, astute thinker.... remember... we are talking about the semi-troll or whatever he is .... so the blog owner puts up a conversational question, more or less, " Is the current crop of Republican candidates truly idiots or are they cheap conniving weasly fucks"  Ok.. I paraphrased but I think that was the fair and balanced and unbiased opinion.  Well, gosh, before you knew it the thread has taken a right turn at this fellows third gonad *he truly has a lotta balls* and the next thing he is talking, the Troll, about how if the Communist Burmese invaded the USA, why gosh he would just cinch up his GI Joe camouflage g-string right on up his but crack to where the pleasure button of his resides and gosh.... he would kick some ass and all he would need to know is if those Burma gooks was bringing rice or noodles with them!!!

Boy... those Burmese ! Gees.... who do they thiink they are.

The game laws
Ought to
Let you shoot
The bird who hands you
A substitute


Well, gosh....  So where that left off was something like, 'well, gee, if the Burmese do invade we are all hoping that Canada counter invades and gets rid of the Terrorist Burmese cause it would be much better with Canadian Freedom Fighters, I mean, Canada sure has let us have a bunch of good comedians and folk singers and what not'.  Something like that.

BUT.... get this!  The Burmese ARE invading.... those goddam snakes!!
 Yesirree Bob!  Big Ones! In Florida!  Well it was a peachy-keen article and I enjoyed reading it and Shit&Whiskers.. you can too.  All right... I thought that was neat.... how that one little blog post lead me to Burmese Pythons !  I tell you.... it is a wonderful world.  So.. anyways, they want to ban the snakes, make it illegal to transport them. eradicate them, only let the gay males marry... or at least try
to clean up this, ah, slithery situation.

But then... and this is what breaks me up.... some 'pet retailers' are upset, because,,,,, it would infringe on their rights and..... hehehe cost jobs!

NO SHIT. read it here   Honestly!  Why gosh.... first dem liberals wanna regulate snakes.... next thing you know.... them is gonna wanna regulate Trouser Snakes!

Now this was really breaking me up.... see, it seems that python skins can fetch up to $200 a piece... and gosh the economy gets a boost.... so, this is it?  Invasive pythons are job creators and you can get $200 for it's skin........ but undocumented immigrants are not welcome? Is this how a Rednicker thinks..."well gosh, if Hispanics created jobs and you could get $200 for a Wetback Hide... well it would be different then!"  Somehow something is out of kilter. THINGS are weird... and I am not sure if we aren't all nutz....and evil... and the only honest among us is the evil Norwegian Almond farmers

I guess it just goes to show you, what a wonderful world the widdle  wide web is.... you can be talk politicualize smart one moment and the next thing you know.......... you got python pants.

You think I'm making this up!??
Well, it's Ground Hogs Day.  Didn't see my shadow. The Python ate it.  Six more weeks of Bullshit.
Gotzta go walk my snake.


Tom Harper said...

Be very afraid of those Norwegian almond farmers. They plan on getting us all hooked on Lutefisk. And after that, when they activate Plan B...

Sherry Peyton said...

Okay, snakes. I hate 'em. Purely hate 'em. That dude with one comin' out of his pants? I would just lay down and die right there. No further ado about nothing. Can't keep my brain from imploding. Am willing to see all snakes killed and I'll live with the environmental disaster. I know. But I cannot help it. No more such stories. Too scary. Did you hear me?

Life As I Know It Now said...

that was really snakey, uh I mean, sneaky, of you

oh, my last comment a few days back was directed at another commenter and not you or your post.

larry said...

What a hoot Jim. You are absolutely insane. The only one's more insane are these idgits you poke fun at here.

Shame and mirrors?!? I have never heard that one. It's a keeper.

susan said...

Even though the story about pythons and anacondas running rampant in the Everglades is pretty scary for all the the other animals I can think of a few people who could be sent there to check them out up close and personal. Great story and you are so right about the craziness.

okjimm said...

Tom... Norwegian Almond Farmers are known Devil worshipers. They have a secret bunker just outside of Mankato, MN.

Oh, Sherry, snakes is OK...fact is, many run for political office.

Libs... it is all good. I think I need a pet Snark...youse gotz any in da Hoosier State? Snarks never hurt anyone unintentionally.

Larry.. yes... I am insane. Sure beats the alternative.

Susan... I have been studying invasive species for a few years. Global Warming is not the only thing impacting our environment...
Asian buckthorn.. Big head Carp
....and to those that think man does not impact the environment... I ask...where did the passenger pigeons go....Chestnut trees..Elms...Santa Claus...Captain Kangaroos... the Great Plains used to be abundant in Captain Kangaroos.

anita said...

I was actually thinking of getting a pet snake. But now I think I'll pass ... just sayin' ...

okjimm said...

anita.... get a pet snark... no litter box required. ;)

Beach Bum said...

BUT.... get this! The Burmese ARE invading.... those goddam snakes!!

They will be here in South Carolina in a few years. My biggest regret is that with all the asswipe, golf playing republicans infesting this state there is still very little chance one of them will get eaten by a rogue python.

Life just ain't fair.

S.W. Anderson said...

There's many a snake in the grass. Some of them aren't serpents, just Grand Old Pythons.

As for Norwegian pecan farmers, who knew?

okjimm said...

Never trust a Norwegian. They come from a fjordian place.

Gavrillo said...

Just a test to see if your comment section is impaired like mine.

okjimm said...

G....I think it might be a 'Word Press to Blogger' thing. Not sure

Mauigirl said...

This was wonderfully hilarious... I am worried about the Burmese snakes, however. Those suckers are BIG.

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