Used to be a cigar was a smoke and a burger beat anything. A hamburger. On a bun. With ketchup. Maybe cheese...but that was it! It was plain, basic... and gosh darn good. Nowadays it seems like you just amble out for a walk, ..see, and you're thinking, "Goddam, I sure could go for a burger!" but but but...what you want, see, is a date with the Parson's daughter and when you stroll into a burger joint they flip you a menu that resembles a Las Vegas whore house full of aged and ugly hiding in lettuce tomato and plastic cheese.
So I am thinking... what happened to hamburgers? I used to stop at this cafe just off Hwy 51 just outside of Montello, a real Mom&Pop... Grandma is in the kitchen and the Daughter-in=law runs the counter. Must have stopped there most every monday for 15 years. Gees, by the time I would spit a little gravel in the parking lot and amble on in, why see, my coffee was on the counter and maybe a newspaper and I knew my burger was on the grill. We worked that all out long time before... if it was monday it was a hamburger with fries. On a homemade bun, lightly buttered. Honest as all get out. Add a little ketchup. Done. See.. that's not much to ask.
So why is this so hard for the news peoples to figure out? Just News. Just give me a simple who -what -when -where -why and how serve it up to me on a homemade bun and then shut up. Well, maybe a little ketchup,see. Now take this Iowa Caucus thingee....whiich is gonna turn into a Vermont thingee and a South Carolina thingee and ad nauseum.... see, all the news tells me is 'who is ahead'...... and not a single reason why they are ahead or what....
call me when the burgers done.