Monday, January 31, 2011

.... and gimmee a side of Slaw, too.

OK.... just when you think you have seen it all.... you see something that was not included in ALL when you last looked.  (of course, I have heard it ALL, too, but that was before I went partially deaf in dat right ear, so now I just think I have heard it ALL when it truth I have only really heard MOST of ALL, which is OK cause mostly, I don't want to hear about it at ALL)

With me so far?  If so it truly means that you have not yet had enough coffee on a Monday morning.
Anyways.... I open the paper this morning (and being a Gannett Newspaper, there isn't much to open) and I read THIS   
yessirree bob.... I sure have it backwards.... see, these two guys sit oout on a frozen lake for hours, catch 5.44 lbs of fish and win $1500.  Now, Saturday I went to Fat Mama's and ordered a catfish sandwich with a side of fried okra and it set me back $7.50.  Now I know I can't catch okra in Lake Winnebago and I am not stupid enough to try..... but sheeesh, who in there right mind sits on a bucket on a froooooozen lake to catch five lbs of fish......??????
You have to buy a thermal coat, stupid snow pants, bit goddam boots that probably cost $100 from LL Bean and gloves and a Green Bay Packer hat.... and you haven't bought poles and bait and beer yet!!!
But that really kills me... a 'ice fishing' tournament!  And THESE GUYS ARE ORGANIZED 
I mean... there is life in the winter.... things you can do indoors, like SEX, or even things to do outdoors, like Nordic skiing, or gosh, just getting in your car to drive to a bar.... but to spend all that money on gear and then sit on a bucket and freeze your ass off???  Shit&whiskers.... I can buy a whole lotta catfish and Fat Mama's for what those guys spend.... and okra, sweet potato fries and hunks a hush puppies.  Hey, and get this, just when YOU think YOU have heard it all, let me tell you this.... some of those guys build these little houses and drag them out there and sit in them all day....whoa!  I think that is why the divorce rate is so high in Wisconsin in the winter.....gees, you marry one of these dummies and he spends all day spending money at a Sporting goods store for shit to keep him warm while he deliberately  sits on ice..... divorce the dummy!!!

alright, already.... I AM done ranting, cause I have seen it all and have heard it all.... and DONE most things that I wanted to do when I thought of doing them.

In fact, a long time ago my good buddy Tom and I thought it would be a good idea to drive across the frozen 11 miles of the lake, just to get a beer on the other side, but  mostly to say we had done it.
But rather than fish.... we had caught quite a buzz first.


Sherry Peyton said...

Okay, I can do ya one better. I have seen and heard it all, and I have THOUGHT it all. yep.

Okay, so winter is lost on anyone over the age of 14. Given.

But my dad was one of those dopes that tied a little outhouse to his skidoo and dragged it out to the middle of the lake and sat in it for hours. Truly. I swear. I have to admit the fish was good. But it was stupid too.

Liberality said...

Like that film Grumpy Old Men was made up in any way! But I sure did laugh my ass off while I was watching it :) I think having sex indoors during the cold winter months beats freezing an ass off for a couple of fish any day of the week! Just saying...:)

okjimm said...

You could not PAY me to sit on ice?

susan said...

Compared to sitting on a bucket over a hole you've carved in the ice, driving a car 11 miles across for beer sounds sensible.

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