Friday, April 23, 2010

Is that a book you're reading?

One thing that pisses me off.... (amongst many) is when folks you do not know come up to you... in a coffee house, on the bus, on the veranda of the bar..... wherever... and ask....."is that a book you're reading?"
No.... it's my tennis shoe.... gees!!

See... the deal is I LIKE to read.... and not just in the bathroom or on the couch or in bed..... I like to read OUTSIDE..... and there is no end to the irritation I feel when folks, again, STRANGERS ask you if you are reading or.... "Is it a good book?"..... "What's the book about?"

Well, schmucko...... if I wanted to talk to a complete stranger.... I would not have BROUGHT the fucking book with me!!!!!..... and NO... it is the worst possible book I could think of .... and NO I do not want to tell you what it is about.... I AM READING IT TO FIND OUT WHAT IT IS ABOUT!!!

so.... yesterday afternoon I stroll over to Oblio's to get a pint and to finish reading John Irving's last novel.  Now... I like Irving.... and what I do is sometimes SAVE the last 50-60 pages to read as a treat to myself in a special spot at a special time.  OK... maybe it's weird, but it is MY DEAL, see, and as soon as I settle in with a fine pint of Sprecher Imperial Stout... this old University Lady (I've seen her around) comes up and starts prattling.... "oh.... what are you reading?" IT'S A FUCKING BOOK.  "can I see the cover?"  NO GET YOUR OWN! "do you like Irving?"  NO I AM READING IT CAUSE I HATE THE ASSHOLE! "have you read his other books?"  HEY THIS ISN'T A GODDAM LITERARY CLUB.

sheesh!   I'm just ranting here.  I really believe that someone should/can have a certain amount of privacy in a public place!  I mean..... do folks walk into a supper club and randomly pick out a diner and say, "Is that a steak you're eating?"  "Is it Kobe beef or Angus?"  "Do you like your steak rare or medium?" "What's the best steak you ever ate?"

Ok.  I feel better now.  I have to take the book back to the library.  I distinctly told them I wanted Ranch, not Thousand Island.

Therapy is only a blog away.


Liberality said...

What you are doing is such a rarity, I'm thinking, that people just can;t get over it. Reading is such a chore to them that they think it must be a chore for you as well so if you are reading something it must be damned good and they want in on it--or maybe that lady was hitting on you? Who knows. Enjoy your book!!!

Dr. Zaius said...

You know, if you really, really wanted to, from the bottom of your heart, you could in fact make this a GODDAM LITERARY CLUB. Just an idea. ;o)

Sherry Peyton said...

See your problem is that you have a failure to communicate. You should be answering as you are on this post. That will shut em up and would be a hoot to see their expression.

Uh, do you really like Irving? What is the next book you are reading? Do you anticipate you will like it? Do you like long books?

I love pet peeves. Now, being asked what I am reading is always an opportunity to me...just sayin' you might be a tad MAD!

here's to you kid!

David Barber said...

Me and a few mates were going playing golf one saturday morning (I know, not everybody's favourite game.). So we're all stood outside the pub where we were going to watch the FA Cup Final afterwards, waiting for our lift and this guy walks past and asks...."Where you lads off to?"
WTF? We're going playing tennis you thick t**t! :-0 I feel better now, thanks.

sunshine said...

I love reading too AND I too take my books with me and read outside.

I think that perhaps people are just so used to the majority texting and ipoding and such that when they see someone doing something SO crazy like, reading an actual book, they just can't help themselves!
You're like a friggin alien to them Jim! They need to know more about "your kind"....


Randal Graves said...

sunshine, I'm very glad you take your boobs with you. Oh, you said books.

On the bus, I've got the added protection of headphones, but you're wide open to attack from friendless yokelry. Have you thought about packing heat or at least a scimitar?

okjimm said...

Thanks for listening to me rant.... see, I gotz this thing, and this may sound weird, I concentrate BETTER when I am OUT and TUNE-OUT peripheral noise. I do the same thing when I want to write. I filter out everything.... when I am alone in a quiet place.... I tend to get distracted LOOKING for noise.

I know that sounds weird.

....but I just left the coffee house where a TOTAL STRANGER just asked me, "What are you writing?"

Such is life.

Lee said...

I used to have this same problem until I confined my public reading to authors such as Jim Thompson and Stewart Home. I don’t want to creep anybody out, but when you’re reading books with titles such as The Killer Inside Me or 69 Things to Do with a Dead Princess, people are less likely to invade your space. Hey, it works.

Suzi Riot said...

You need to carry a backpack or messenger bag with a big button that says "Fuck off. I'm reading." I've had that button for 12 years and it's worked like a charm. ;)

okjimm said...

ooooh, good call Suzi... I think I still have a button that just says, 'fuck off'... I best getz a new one made!

Hey, Lee.... The IPA you made was EXCELLENT.... especially with some chicken cordon blue and rice. LISTEN..... if you EVER have excess beer ( I know that is an oxymoron..) just let me know!!!

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