Sunday, March 20, 2011

Nipple Tape and other funnies

The Wonderful World Of Nipple Tape
Nipple tape is a cheap effective tool to cover the nipples for topless costumes or costumes that at risk for the dreaded nipple slip.

Tourist: Look at that bunch of cows. Farmer: Not bunch, herd.
Tourist: Heard what?
Farmer: Of cows.
Tourist: Sure I’ve heard of cows. Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd.
Tourist: So what? I have no secrets from cows!

Newt Gingrich addressed his past infidelities by saying, “There’s no question at times in my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate.”

''You all know St. Patrick is credited with banishing snakes from Ireland. But you guys know the truth, sometimes. There were never any snakes in Ireland. St. Patrick just made that up. Which explains why he's the patron saint of FOX News.''

—Vice President Joe Biden
Two Illinois tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they approached Oconomowoc they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. This went on until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist said to the cute blonde behind the counter "Can you settle an argument for us? Would you pronounce where we are, very slowly?"
The blonde leaned forward and said "Burrrr-gerrrr Kiiiing".

Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.
Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died'."
The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Ole died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If its money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more."
So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.' "

well, I thought they were funny


susan said...

Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

6 good jokes deserve at least one in return.

David Barber said...

Ha! Thanks for the giggle, Jim!

dmarks said...

The same Joe Biden who made up the fact that Afghanistan has nuclear weapons.

S.W. Anderson said...

Gingrich said, ". . .things happened in my life that were not appropriate.”

Not, "I did inappropriate things," we're supposed to believe it's as if a devious force from outer space came down and caused things to happen in Newt's life. But he didn't actually do bad things of his own volition.

If people can't see through this has been who never should have been, there is no hope for America.

okjimm said...

susan... a joke a day is cheaper than an apple.
David... I do stand up for beers.
DMarks... welcome&stuff... I think Joe said it at a banquet thingee,,, where he was supposed to be funny

SW.. Newt is one of those sorry sorry people... that tend to make me laugh

Liberality said...

can I have a joke and an apple :)

thanks for the smile...

Randal Graves said...

Why don't you be more Serious? It's a Serious world. Seriously.

okjimm said...

Libs.... yupperz... take two apples, one joke and if that rash doesn't clear up.... well, then it must be the water.

Randal.... Serious... isn't that a type of cloud?

S.W. Anderson said...

"Randal.... Serious... isn't that a type of cloud?"

No, it's some kind of satellite radio thingee. ;)

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