Wednesday, August 11, 2010
So I am at Oblio's. Schultz is peddling posh potables across the polished panel.
-Jim... did you hear about that Norwegian farmer west of town, got audited by the IRS?
- I think I'm going to.
-Well, the guy gets an audit notice and the agent shows up at his farm. The agent says, " I have a few questions about your labor deductions."
"Well, " the farmer says," I gotz a full time hand.... pay him$180 a week, room and board included. He's a good hand."
"Ok," says the agent.
" Then," the farmer says, " I gotz a part time hand, works about 20 hours a week, pay him $90, lives elsewhere, but I throw in his meals."
"Alright," the agent says, "anyone else?"
" Yup," the farmer replies. " I have a cook, comes and goes, feeds the boys. I pay her $200 a month."
The farmer scrunches up a bit, looks down at the dirt and sticks his thumbs in his bib overalls. "Then I have the Half-Wit. "
" The Half-Wit?" the agent queries.
" Yup," the farmer replies. He straightens up a bit . "The guy works over a hundred and eighty hours a week,no time off, he gets $40 a month, has to pay for his own room and board and all his expenses...... but he gets to sleep with my wife about once a month."
"Wow," says the agent. " I need to talk with this Half-Wit!"
The farmer spits a chaw of tobacco off into the dust and looks the agent right in the eye.
" You are, son!"
Schultz owes me a beer.