Monday, July 26, 2010

I read the news today

I have been reading the news of late..... Roman Polanski is a free man is Switzerland..... A biography of Sarah Palin has been put on hold ( waiting for something to write about, I'm guessing)..... Chelsea Clinton is getting married.... Levi What-the-Stud wants to bang Bristol Palin again.... and Lindsay Lohan is going to jail.

Now.... I am not really sure who Lindsay Lohan IS.... other than a name that pops up in the news... or what passes for news.

So... I had to call the Kid and ask her.  She officially turned 21 and now officially knows everything.
"A 24 year old has been, " she told me.
"How can someone be a Has-Been at 24?"
"Dad... Has-Been-ness Happens!  Where have you been?"
"Well I have Been around.... and I have been here and there... but.."
"Dad.....  don't even worry about it.  She's like all that other stuff on the news that doesn't mean anything. Those Fox reality shows,.... stuff like that."

 I guess I understood what she meant.  If it is REALLY important... it is probably not NEWS.  The Republicans were reluctant to extend unemployment.... but really want to EXTEND tax breaks for the rich.  That's not news.
The wars in The Middle East have cost the American taxpayers $1,021,412,240,000..... but are vitally necessary ...... but that is not news.
Since the beginning of the AIDS epidemic  an estimated 1,077,972 people have been diagnosed with AIDS in America.  But that is not news.
The unemployment rate in the USA is roughly 9.5 percent.
Roughly 2,432,000 barrels of oil  have been spilled in the Gulf of Mexico.
And here's a few 'recent' Headlines...............

Pigeon droppings halt Kings of Leon concert

 Fungus wilts spirits of basil lovers, farmers

Boat made of plastic bottles arrives in Sydney


.... OK... I have had enough..... news... but one last bit...

Newsman Daniel Schorr has died.  Cronkite is dead. Huntley is dead.  Brinkley is dead.

Good night..... and good luck.




Liberality said...

Now.... I am not really sure who Lindsay Lohan IS.... other than a name that pops up in the news... or what passes for news.

Dude, I can totally relate :)

susan said...

I read the news today, oh boy
4,000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
And now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall
I'd love to turn you on.

Randal Graves said...

Know what's news? Sports!

s, douglas said...

lindsey lohan is famous. that's all you need to know.

okjimm said...

I have such a lowwwwwww opinion of the news. All of it. I think the mass media is gonna screw up weather reporting next.....

Sherry Peyton said...

I'm late, I'm late for a very important date! Well, I did get here, give me some credit. Good post. Good one. I'm late!!!!

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