A real conservative believes that the government should stay out of people's lives..... but that anyone caught having private sex with what they consider the wrong gender should be punished.
How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? None. If the Liberals would just leave it alone it will change itself.
Republicans WILL save the rainforest.... just tell them that is where the 'golf-ball trees' are located.
Some guy told me he was a Republican and that he voted his 'conscience'. I asked him how he could do both.
A good Conservative thinks that 'global warming' is junk science...... but that Creationism should be taught in schools.
A true conservative Republican believes the USA should get out of the UN, but that our highest national priority should be enforcing the UN resolution against Iraq.
Two guys are sitting in a bar talking politics and one asks the other, "Why are you a Democrat?"
"Because my Daddy and Grand Daddy were Democrats."
"Well, what if your Daddy and Grand Daddy were horse thieves?"
" I guess then I would be a Republican," he answered.
A Conservative believes a woman cannot be trusted to make decisions about her own body....... but large multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without any regulation.
A Conservative believes trade with Cuba is wrong, because they are Communists. Trade with China and Vietnam is good market expansion, though.