Tuesday, August 25, 2009

A Republican walks into a bar.....

A real conservative believes that the government should stay out of people's lives..... but that anyone caught having private sex with what they consider the wrong gender should be punished.

How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? None. If the Liberals would just leave it alone it will change itself.

Republicans WILL save the rainforest.... just tell them that is where the 'golf-ball trees' are located.

Some guy told me he was a Republican and that he voted his 'conscience'. I asked him how he could do both.

A good Conservative thinks that 'global warming' is junk science...... but that Creationism should be taught in schools.

A true conservative Republican believes the USA should get out of the UN, but that our highest national priority should be enforcing the UN resolution against Iraq.

Two guys are sitting in a bar talking politics and one asks the other, "Why are you a Democrat?"
"Because my Daddy and Grand Daddy were Democrats."
"Well, what if your Daddy and Grand Daddy were horse thieves?"
" I guess then I would be a Republican," he answered.

A Conservative believes a woman cannot be trusted to make decisions about her own body....... but large multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without any regulation.

A Conservative believes trade with Cuba is wrong, because they are Communists. Trade with China and Vietnam is good market expansion, though.

9 comments:

Utah Savage said...

Two of those actually made me laugh. Two laughs in one post is a record for me. Nicely done. The next beer's on me.

Randal Graves said...

I'm telling Lee Greenwood on you, pinko.

Dr. Zaius said...

Ha! That's awesome! (I always wondered where golf balls came from.)

You have been awarded the Honest Weblog Award! :o)

Karen Zipdrive said...

What's the difference between a Republican and a backwoods, ignorant, fake religious son of a bitch who cheats on his wife and takes bribes from anyone?

-Republicans aren't always from the backwoods.

What's the difference between Sarah Palin seeking higher office and a 4'8" Ph.D candidate?

-One is a cunning runt.

What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and a blue whale?

-About 30 pounds and a big, stinky cigar.

What do you get when you mix Larry Craig and Jenny Craig?

-Two people who prefer having sex with men.

Border Explorer said...

Too true! Too true! Too true! :-D

susan said...

'I will make a bargain with the Republicans. If they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.'

Adlai Stevenson

okjimm said...

Utah... a laugh a day keeps wingnuts away!

Randal... Pinko & Proud!

Dr. Z.... thanks! I'll be on it!

Ms Zips.... Break me UP!!!

BE.... sad, but True!

Susan.... that still is a goodie!!

sunshine said...

Haha! Some good ones in there!
((Hugs))
Laura

Liberality said...

Exactly!

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