Monday, December 15, 2008

Interesting

Ok. The back is much better. It is a floating bone chip that pinches a nerve. A pain when it happens, but pffffftt... life goes on!


So I am doing what I usually do this time of year.... scrounging cash to buy Christmas presents. Coats in the closet is a good place to start. I never know what I leave in pockets. That got me $10. In the couch cushions, behind the chairs, nooks&crannies, under dust-bunnies on the stairs. That netted me $11.56. I collect antique banks and fill them with change. There's another $24.18! I thought to clean out my e-mail files. "Ha!", you say! Silly jimm, you do not find spare change in e-mail files!


"Ha!," I would reply, "There was a $50 Barnes&Noble gift certificate from the company in there!"





And also some old grins&giggles.




I think AnaJo from New Mexico....(rhymes, huh!) sent me this link a couple of years ago....a real wingnut site, http://shelleytherepublican.com/. I am still not sure if it is for real, which would make it pathetic, or a satire, which would make it just a shade under brilliant. I have a feeling, though, that it is not a spoof.... but it is still hilarious. Shelly tells me about God and choices...


=============Wrong ChoicesGod’s lifestyle choices hitlist : God hates people that belong to one of the groups below because they harm America!
Gays
Liberals
Abortionists
Animal Rights People
Environmentalists
Muzlims
Vegetarians/Vegans
Pedophiles
“Global Warming/Cooling” Believers
Linux users
“Purpose Driven” churches
Mormons
Germans
Government school teachers
The anti-smoking lobby
College Professors
Poets


And Shelly covers Liberals, too!!


For those of you that are not quite clear what liberals really are, here a list of the most typical characteristics of liberals:
§ Being liberal means blaming America first and loving the enemy
§ Being liberal means destroying, hurting and mutilate innocence
§ Being liberal means killing the most innocent and defenseless, the pre-born Americans
§ Being liberal means driving foreign cars only
§ Being liberal means calling our soldiers “war criminals”
§ Being liberal means performing anal sex
§ Being liberal means having no respect
§ Being liberal means spitting on soldier’s graves
§ Being liberal means putting rohypnol in somebodies drink
§ Being liberal means laughing about Christians
§ Being liberal means having no values
§ Being liberal means having anal sex behind the dumpster
§ Being liberal means cashing welfare checks
§ Being liberal means giving the gay virus to your sexual partner
§ Being liberal means abusing children
§ Being liberal means always complaining but never offering solutions
§ Being liberal means being a coward
§ Being liberal means kicking dogs
§ Being liberal means using obscene 4-letter words
§ Being liberal means hating their own race
§ Being liberal means watching porn
§ Being liberal means using illegal drugs
§ Being liberal means not speaking the Pledge of Allegiance
§ Being liberal means not wearing a flag lapel pin
§ Being liberal means pallin’ around with terrorists
§ Being liberal means celebrating 9/11
§ Being liberal means eating cheese and drinking wine
§ Being liberal means calling real Americans “redneck” or “hillbillies”
§ Being liberal means being elitist
§ Being liberal means demanding sex “education” for children
§ Being liberal means believing that ones grandparents are monkies
§ Being liberal means animals are superior to humans
§ Being liberal means humans must die in order to protect the environment
§ Being liberal means speaking to ones plants and hugging trees
§ Being liberal means drinking tee
§ Being liberal means reading books
§ Being liberal means wearing round classes
§ Being liberal means wearing sandals
§ Being liberal means being afraid of guns
§ Being liberal means using abortion as a way of birth control
§ Being liberal means using Ubuntu, Macs and iPods
§ Being liberal means to slander and libel
§ Being liberal means to feel superior when confronted by a retard
§ Being liberal means having no compassion or empathy
§ Being liberal means being scared at night because God has rejected you
§ Being liberal means touching girls on the bus
§ Being liberal means playing with yourself while watching horror movies
§ Being liberal means to stink and never take a shower
§ Being liberal means being unemployed and blaming somebody else for it
§ Being liberal means being an atheist
§ Being liberal means being a vegetarian or vegan
§ Being liberal means hating what America stands for
§ Being liberal means going to Hell
§ Being liberal means being ANTI-AMERICAN


My favorite Shelly is: http://shelleytherepublican.com/2007/06/21/cyclists-the-two-wheeled-menace.aspx


Happy Monday!


7 comments:

Dean Wormer said...

If being liberal means going to hell then sign me up!

Spartacus said...

@Dean... what do you say we rent a bus to get there? I'm sure there will more folks coming here who'll need a ride. We can sing 12 Days of Liberals on the way there.

On the first day in Hell, a Liberal gave to me, a bad dose of the Gay disease...

Sherry Peyton said...

Just call me a liberal! I like the sound of it! Glad you back is better, and boy do I wish I could scrounge change that well! I'd be rich! I gotta check out the site!

Anajo from New Mexico said...

Hi Jimm! Yep, that was me alright. I'm certain that it is a spoof site, but still it's hilarious. The fact that few people realize it's a spoof is what makes it even funnier.

Glad to see that you're feeling better. I'm here drinking a Black Hook porter, which naturally makes me think of you! ;)

Randal Graves said...

I can honestly say I've never seen anyone, liberal or wingnut, drink tee. "I love this Hanes, a real heady drink, with just a hint of herb."

Utah Savage said...

I'll take that just a hint of herb and smoke it at home alone thank you.

Distributorcap said...

boy i was neverso glad to have so many things wrong with me

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